Day 14 - What are some of your passing tips or things you do to pass
Monday 15th April
Passing tips or things I do to pass? Hmm.
I think the main thing that I do in order to pass is something that I was told when I went for my voice therapy consultation initially.
S, who was my speech therapist at the time, was really happy when I met her as I was pre-transition then. Usually she told me she only gets to see people after they after started their Real Life Experience. As I hadn't reached that point she gave me some useful tips.
The first tip was that when choosing a name don't choose something that is simply a feminine version of your male name. Choose something that is clearly female. When you have to tell someone your name if it is clearly a women's name then if they have any doubts about you it will reinforce their image of you as female.
The second tip was to ensure through the way that you dress, your hairstyle, make-up, the way you walk and hold yourself that it says to anyone that sees you that you are a woman.
The more clues, that you can give to anyone meeting or seeing you, that you are female the better. If they have any doubts about that fact then giving them lots of signs that you are female will push them into that conclusion.
The only other things that I do in order to pass are to look at what other women my age are wearing that fit into the style that I have developed for myself. If it fits my style and figure and women my age are wearing it then it should help me to blend in and be less noticeable.
Also when I'm going anywhere then I think about where it is I'm going and then dress accordingly. If I'm going to the supermarket then I'll wear everyday clothes. I wont wear anything dressy, unless of course I happen to be going to the supermarket on my way to some fancy party. Dress to the situation and again it helps you to blend in and pass.
Work on getting your voice to sound feminine. I've taken speech therapy lessons to give me an idea of what I need to do to my voice to make it sound more feminine. It seems to have worked. I do have to concentrate on it a lot as its not second nature yet, one day it will though.
Finally, if you have a female friend that you trust and who can be honest with you about your appearance and behaviour then ask them what they think. Use their feedback to help you improve so that you pass more successfully.