Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Flying Solo

Long day last Tuesday.
Got up at 5am and wandered downstairs, flicked on the kettle and then went into the living room to select the make-up I was going to use for my trip to The Laurels.
A mug of coffee later and I started working on my hair with straighteners. I so hope that I get better at doing my hair with straighteners, although I'm quite happy to not get good at using them at 6am.
With my hair in a reasonable state I started on my make-up. It only took me about 20 minutes to get my make-up done. I finished up, then got dressed in the trousers and blouse I was going to wear.
Everyone else was in bed so I made a cup of tea and took it up to my other half to make sure that she was awake and getting ready as she also had an appointment at the clinic.
With her awake I went back downstairs, put on my coat, picked up my bag and let myself out of the house. By now it was 6:45, most of the neighbours would still be in bed or getting ready to leave for work but I had enough time before anyone else was moving around outside the houses.

Tuesday was a cold and frosty morning and I had to sit in the car for 5 minutes waiting for the windscreen to clear. A few people passed by on their way to work but none of them were people I knew. Eventually I headed off the to the nearby supermarket to fill the car with petrol. Its a long drive to Exeter and back.
With that little task done I pulled the car into a space in the supermarket car park and sent a text message to a friend to let her know that I was out of the house and sitting in a car park waiting for my other half to finish getting ready so that she didn't have deal with the possibility of us bumping into someone when we left the house. Also so that our son didn't have to meet Jenna face-to-face.

After 20 minutes my other half contacted me to let me know that our son was feeling dizzy. On top of the cough and cold he's had she needed to stay home and make sure that he was OK. I agreed with her and so began what was to be a solo trip to Exeter.

The drive to Exeter is easy and pleasant enough. Just over an hour after setting off I was pulling into a space in the car park next to the clinic. I'd intended to take advantage of the an early arrival to get some photos taken for my driving license and passport. Wandering through the city centre at 9 in the morning had to be easier than going later because there was likely to be less people. In the end I only had 15 minutes until my appointment and no time to do anything.

My counseling session went well, so much has happened recently, that I was fully conscious of the time slipping away while I tried to go over everything.

During the session I mentioned that I wanted to get the photo for my driving license done. S, my counselor, suggested that I might want to use the Post Office and gave me directions on how to get there.

The session drew to a close and I headed off. I had two things that I wanted to do while in Exeter at that point. One was to get some pictures taken and the other was to visit Clinique at Debenhams and pick up some anti-redness cream to use underneath my foundation.

As I walked towards Debenhams I was conscious of people around me and felt a little bit nervous. I wasn't worried about the way I was dressed as my outfit was similar to that worn by any woman who might be out shopping or even on their way to work. I was more worried about drawing attention to myself in other ways.

In the end the walk to Debenhams was uneventful. If anyone gave me any more than a casual glance I didn't notice it.

The Clinique counter wasn't busy but the assistant was serving another customer so I wandered around, passed the Clarins counter and came back to Clinique, the lady at the Clarins stand gave me a friendly smile. Back at Clinique the assistant was free and we discussed what I wanted. She was really helpful and friendly, to the point of telling me that she was going to the cinema that evening to see a film. We chatted briefly as I completed my purchase.

That done I made my way in the direction of the Post Office, the only problem was I couldn't find it. After 10 minutes of wandering around the streets of Exeter I decided to head back to my car.

By the car park is a Tourist Information office. As I'd already dealt with one person in Debenhams I decided to go in and ask if they could point me to the Post Office. The lady in there was very helpful, gave me clear directions and after thanking her I headed back in the direction I'd just come.

I need new glasses, even though I've just bought some, because there was the Post Office clear as anything. I'd walked straight passed without seeing it.

The photo booth was right by the entrance and so I was able to nip in, have my picture taken and then head off back to my car. My confidence level had gone up by now and I was tempted to pop in somewhere and get a coffee but I knew I had to get back in order to go to work in the afternoon. The nearest coffee shop looked busy so I decided to say the coffee for another visit. I might even make it lunch somewhere as when I go for my next appointment I'll be a week into my RLE.

Tuesday was a bit step for me in a way. Even though I've been into the shops in Exeter twice before now during my trips there, it has always been in company. This time I had to do it on my own. Like most things I've done over the last year this ticked off yet another thing I am going to have to get used to doing every day. At least now I've done it, so come January it wont be as big a thing. OK, doing it in the town I live in for the first time might be but its not as scary.






Saturday, 19 November 2011

Still here

Its been a month since I last posted. Part of that is because my laptop died on me and had to go over for repair.

A few things have happened since then.


I did meet up with personnel to start firming up the plans for dealing with things at work. Things are nicely on track.
Met up with friends at my vicar's house and discussed the way ahead for us as a family. Things are a bit clearer now. As a result we're doing a bit of redecorating which has included knowing down a cupboard in one of the bedrooms to give a bit more space. The place looks like a bomb has exploded in it. I'd planned to get that room redecorated by the end of month. In reality it will most likely take into December now.

My attempt to see my oldest friend and tell him what is happening went out the window when I fell ill the day I'd been planning on going up to see him. I've not managed to rearrange the visit yet.

I have managed to get up to Bristol for burlesque classes several times though. On both occasions I also went to discuss a burlesque costume I want made and to have a fitting. If the mock-ups for it are anything to go by then it will look awesome. I'm so excited by it.

I've signed up to do a burlesque solo at our Christmas Cabaret. I'm going to do my routine to The Little Drummer Boy which will include the David Bowie/Bing Crosby version in the middle of it. My costume looks fabulous. I hope that it fits!

Earlier this month we met with the SENCO and Nurse at my son's school and discussed what is happening and what support that everyone can provide him. .

I've completed a Deed Poll and so my name change is all ready for January. I just need to inform everyone that needs to know.

Last weekend my son and I visited my sister, her husband and the twins. My brother-in-law hadn't been told what was happening and so on the Saturday night I informed him of my plans. He took it really well. Surprised us in fact.


Also on Saturday my wife told her family. Their reaction was pretty much what I'd expected.


This last week has been a bit of a rough one. People's reactions last weekend, being extremely busy at work, doctors and dentist appointments, and a few other things have left me in a bit of an emotional state. There's been some really positive things happen, a visit to a friend's, a visit to the salon for a body waxing, getting my hair done and having a better idea of what I'm going to do with my solo routine. All of these have helped to lift my mood. Still far too many things are getting me down.


I have my next visit to The Laurels Clinic soon. Hopefully my counsellor will be able to help me get myself out of this mood, or if not can point me to the person who can.


Time is ticking onwards and the day I transition and go full time as Jenna is drawing ever nearer. Its very exciting but also really nerve-wracking. I think I've now got my work wardrobe sorted. I've certainly go enough clothes now to make sure that I have something to wear to work and also out and about. Well as many as any woman has, which is not necessarily enough.


I'll try and post a bit more frequently from now on as things start to happen more.