Day 11 - How do you manage dysphoria
Friday 12th April
Since I transitioned last year and even
more since I've started on hormones my sense of dysphoria is so much
less than it was.
The worst that I remember it being was
while driving to Bristol for a burlesque class. I looked at my arms
and could see hair on them and it began to affect me. I was literally
on the verge of turning around and driving back home but I managed to
keep driving, I focussed on the fact that I was going to somewhere
that I enjoyed, where I was accepted for who I was and where I was
developing talents that I'd never have dreamed of previously.
I can still look at my body and think I
hate it, I wish that I'd been born with the right one. When I get
feelings like that I think about what is causing those feelings, hair
on my body, the thing between my legs, lack of breast growth or
something else. I think about whatever it is and then remember that I
can deal with those things. I can remove the hair on my body with
laser, electrolysis, epilation and shaving. I can tuck things
securely between my legs and eventually will have surgery to correct
what is down there. The hormones will eventually sort out other areas
of my body and surgery can sort out anything that needs a bit of
artificial help, in the meantime there are artificial ways to sort
those out.
I may not be the way that I should have
been and noticing that can be distressful at times but as long as I
remember that I am finally sorting things out and that there are
things I can do in the meantime then I can manage my dysphoria and
get through the bad times.
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