Tuesday, 31 August 2010

Bouffant Hair

I've been growing my hair longer for quite a bit of this year so that I can ditch the wig and go with own hair instead.
I've had a few comments from people about getting haircuts and its length in general. Today topped it all.
After showering this morning I dried my hair but didn't have enough time to run the hair straighteners through it properly or gel to hold it in place properly. As a result I left the house and went to work with my hair having a bit more volume to it than normal.
Everything was fine until I had to have a chat with my boss, V, at her desk in our open plan office. Very quickly I was feeling as if I'd gone bright red.
Last Thursday I left work early as a couple of early mornings, one driving to Heathrow and the other rescuing a neighbours cat from two foxes that were trying to eat it, left me incredibly tired. On Friday I phoned in and said I was taking the day off.
This morning I sat down to discuss some work with V and she immediately said "Good morning, slacker". J, who sits next to her turned around and said with some astonishment "Slapper, why is he a slapper". V and I looked at her and I mouthed "slack er".
Well I've been called a few things but never a slapper.
At this point I could actually feel the colour starting to rise in my face as I was now the centre of attention for those within earshot.
V then looked at me and said "having a bit of a bouffant day today", drawing attention to my slightly more voluminous than normal hairstyle. I muttered something about having washed it and now haaving a bad hair day, while feeling like my face was going to burst into flames.
I'm just glad that V didn't make any comments about me blushing as that really!
Of course that fact that someone has described my hair as bouffant really made my day!

Sunday, 22 August 2010

First Friend

I've finally got around to documenting the last part of my day out the other week.
After I left Lou and Zee at the salon I drove to Wincanton where I was going to meet up with E, a friend and old colleague. I had quite a bit of time until she was due to finish her evening class and so stopped briefly in a layby to change my wedge sandals for a more comfortable pair of flats.
When I arrived at the sport centre where we were meeting up I was too early. Not wanting to simply sit in the car for over 10 minutes until E came out I decided to have a bit of drive around Wincanton until it was time to meet up.
Four circuits later and I finally drove into the car park. I parked in a quiet spot and watched people come out and head for home. Eventually I saw E walking across the car park to my car.
When she got into the car she didn't bat an eyelid at my appearance. The email I'd sent her asking to meet up had been cryptic enough for her not to really guess the reason but as she later admitted it had crossed her mind.
Rather than sit in the car I asked if it would be possible to go back to her place to chat. She agreed.
I followed her car back and parked in the dark lane outside her house.
Over a cup of coffee I told her about my plans, about my day, everything.
E took my revelation in her stride.
We talked, or rather I did most of the talking, for nearly two hours before I left her to head off to bed and get some sleep.
The journey back home in the car was quiet.
When I arrived home I was able to park the car in the garage and navigate the two gates that allow access to my back garden.
As it was gone midnight all of the neighbours appeared to have gone to bed as there were no lights on in any of the houses that overlooked our garden.
A walk down the garden path, a bit of fumbling with the backdoor key and I was once more home.
It had been a long day but the best one that I've had in simply ages.

Saturday, 21 August 2010

One more step

Apologies in advance, this is a bit of a long post as its been a fairly crucial week in my life.

This week has been a bit of a strain. On several occasions I've actually felt physically sick and seriously depressed.
The first was when I received the emaill from my sister telling me how she felt about my plans to transition and that carried on into the evening when I had to give up on eating dinner.
The second was on Wednesday evening when, with our son away for a week, I'd planned to sit down and tell my wife about my plans. In the end I felt so sick while eating that I had to stop after a couple of mouthfuls. In the end I couldn't manage to talk to her.
Thursday morning before I set of for work I sent her an email to say that we needed to discuss things, she's know about the female part of me since just after we met, as we've avoided the topic for a long time even though she can't miss the clothes in my wardrobe.
Her first response to the email actually asked if I was thinking about a sex change. Well even though I can sometimes be a bit insensitive I wasn't going to say yes to that in an email.
Throughout the day we traded messages.
By the time I finished work I was beginning to be a bit of a mess emotionally, I've been like that for the last couple of weeks to be honest. Rather than go straight home I paid a visit to my vicar and his wife, who I'd contacted earlier in the day to ask if it would be Ok to have a quick chat.
T, the vicar, wasn't in but H, his wife, was there. After clearing the living room of her daughter and making me a coffee we sat down for a chat.

Ok, now this is going to be the really scarey bit.

I'd taken in the briefcase that I keep all the information I've received from visits to the doctors.
Looking at H I asked if I could give her something to get rid of for me. Without waiting for a response I opened the briefcase and removed two vitamins containers and several packets of paracetomol. In total there must have been about 150 tablets that I'd been collecting over the last 6 months or so. I had gotten so low that I'd seriously considered overdosing.
H took the tablets to dispose of and we talked about that and also about the upcoming chat. Two things came out of the chat, the first that the paracetomol wasn't an answer to anything, and yes I realise that it isn't. The second was that I really do need to think about my son in all of this and how I to keep trying to me without causing him any hurt. A point that my sister had made at the beginning of the week.
Before left H and T's, T prayed for me and my family.

As I got into my car to drive home a sense of peace came over me.

When I got home, my wife and I sat down to eat dinner. I pretty much managed to eat all of it even if I was a bit subdued while doing it.

After dinner I did a few chores and then with no other reasons to delay sat down in the living room with my wife to chat about things.
Well for the next 2 hours we talked, well mainly I did. I told her everything that she needed to know. I told her about going to the doctor and psychiatrist. I told her about telling my parents and sister and their reactions. I told her about going to Portmouth to Sugar and Spiced and about going out to have photos taken, I even showed her the photos of me out and about. I told her about driving back to Mere and going for my hair appointment. She'd already noticed that I'd been having my body waxed so I told her about that.
For 2 hours we discussed things and although she wiped tears from her eyes a number of times she didn't scream or rant or shout or any of the things that I had expected. She really did surprise me with how calmly she took it.

So where am I know with regard to all this.

Yesterday morning I rang Dr Brooks' secretary but both of them are on vacation, her secretary will be back on Monday so I'll be ringing again then to make an appointment.

My wife and I have agreed that we will continue to keep things from our son. He's only 12 and has had a rough time since he was 2 years of age. At the moment he is still a bit vulnerable and does need protecting. I'm going to see Dr Brooks and see what options there are for me to continue getting help for my gender dysphoria but with the intention of being able to delay fully transitioning until he's a bit older. I still fully intend to transition but not go full time until the impact on him is not so great.

In the meantime my wife and I are going to look at opportunities for me to spend time as myself either on my own or with her. She doesn't want to go anywhere that we might bump into people that we know so it will mean going other places. Who knows perhaps we'll even manage a few day at Sparkle in Manchester next year. Now that would be really good.

She obviously is going to need a bit of time to digest all of this and things might change. She is trying to be more accomodating and has asked me nearly every night since why I'm not wearing a nightie to bed.
Today we're going out for a bit and then later this afternoon I'll be having a nice bubble bath and slipping into a nice outfit so that she can see me properly for the first time in years. I'll make us a nice dinner and then we can settle down for a quiet evening.

The one thing that could change all of this is that she is going to be having a chat with her mother at some point after I've seen Dr Brooks and we know what is happening from that perspective. How her mother reacts will have a lot of weight on what happens in the future. My wife is heavily influenced by her mum and sister. If her mum is against it then things could get really interesting once again. Personally I'd rather she talked to her mum beforehand so that I know how she has reacted by the time of my appointment.

Should be an interesting couple of months ahead.

Monday, 16 August 2010

Sick to stomach

Following on from my last post, today I sent a text message to my sister to find out what she thought about things.
This afternoon I received an email from her and it has made me feel really sad and almost physically sick.
She has said that she doesn't support what I'm doing, thinks I have anger issues towards all of the family and a lot of other things.
I know that it was never going to be easy for family to deal with my plans to transition. Her reaction has really upset me.
It would seem the fact that I've spent my entire life being as supportive of others as I can, tried to be a good brother, son, husband and father might have given me issues that need to be worked through. I've tried to be what people think I should be while keeping the real me hidden away.
I've spent the last 10 years trying to reach where I've finally got to. Now when I can't go on the way I have been she tells me what she really thinks.
If I'd never told her that I wasn transitioning then I wonder if she would ever have told me what she really thinks.
Somehow I doubt it.

Sunday, 15 August 2010

Brief Interlude

Before I post my last entry about last Wednesday I thought I'd post a couple of lines about this weekend.
Yesterday (Saturday) my son and I travelled up to my sister's place in Northampton.
We met up with my sister, her husband and their twin daughters in Ikea at Milton Keynes. On the way we passed signs for Bletchley Park, being in the computer software business I was tempted to make a detour but didn't have the time. The next time that we're in Milton Keynes we'll make a detour so that my son and I can pay a visit to Bletchley.
While my brother-in-law, who doesn't know about my plans, and the children were distracted, I took my sister to one side and showed her the pictures that I'd had blown up from Wednesday's trip to Portmouth.
She nodded but didn't say much as it might have drawn the attention of the others.
I'm going to have to drop her an email in the week to see what she thought as it would be nice to know.

Salon Time

My trip back from Portmouth was fairly uneventful.
I left Jo's and walked across to my car. The street was quiet with no people about. Put my bag into the boot, picked up some flat shoes to drive in and got into the car.
It was abolutely wonderful driving along as a woman.
Being sat in this little metal box on wheels travelling alongside lots of other metal boxes with people inside them you simply have to take at face value what you see. There is no easy way to tell that the person you see isn't what they appear to be.
At one point a guy travelling with his family must have realised that he was going to wrong way because he suddenly changed direction, cutting in front of me, without any signal to say he was about to do that or any sign of apology for what he'd done. I wondered as I watched him driving in front of me if he would have done that to a guy.

With about 10 minutes to go until I reached the hairdressers I pulled into a quiet layby. I was about to get out of the car when another car pulled up behind me with a woman and her daughter in it. I was about to get out of the car but I sat there for a minute or two to see what they were going to do. As they didn't appear to be planning on going anywhere I got out of the car and took some things out of the boot that I'd need when I got to the hairdressers. Just as I was about to drive on they started up their car and drove past. I got out of the car again, picked up my camera, opened the boot of the car and placed the camera on the parcel shelf facing back along the layby. I set the self-timer and took a couple of quick shots of me stood facing the car. Back into the car and I set off once more.

Ten minutes later and I pulled up in the street about 50 yards from the hairdressers, I hadn't been looking forward to having to walk from the car park so being able to find a space that close was great.
I looked around and watched a guy and his two children walking up the street. Not wanting to be read by them I sat in the car waiting for them to walk past. Just as they reached me a car pulled up behind me. I watched the driver in my rear view mirror, he looked like he was going to be getting out of the car but was taking quite a bit of time about it. I decided to give him a minute or two.
I then noticed two teenage boys walking up the street who would be passing the car shortly. Again I decided to let them walk past before getting out. I watched as they walked up the street about 20 yards and then entered a building.
The guy in the car behind me now got out of his car and went into the same building.
Finally the street looked quiet so I slipped out of the car, grabbed my shoulder bag and a holdall and headed for the salon.
Entering through the door, I knew that Lou and Zee would be in the back. As I closed the door Lou appeared and her first comment was “wow, look at you.” I took a little bow as Zee appeared.
I told them both about what had happened in Portmouth and then switching on my laptop showed them the pictures that Jo had taken . Lou and Zee were both very complimentary about the way I looked and were impressed as I told them about the walk to the cemetary and back.
As we looked at the pictures of me Lou said that the first wig I was wearing suited me really well. I told her that that was the style I thought we should be aiming for with my own hair. Lou thought that we might be able to dye it a similar colour too.
Finally it was time to get down to work and my wig was removed. Lou used straighteners on my hair before trimming the ends.
As she straightened my hair she exclaimed that it was amazing just how quickly my hair had grown considering how short it had been at one point. Turning to Zee she said that she thought that by my next appointment my hair would be almost long enough to be cut into a bob.
When she had finished cutting my hair and fiddling with it a tiny bit more I looked at myself in the mirror.
As I looked at my reflection, the combination of makeup and the hairstyle, made me realise that I was looking at a woman. My features seemed so much softer.
With my hair straightened I actually looked like a woman with a short hairstyle. If I'd had the confidence I wouldn't have put on my wig to go back to the car but left as I was.
The three of us chatted a bit more about my hair, its length and the fact that by the end of the year it will definitely be long enough for me to wear in a bob.
I told Lou that it my hair isn't long enough when I have to begin living full time as a female then we could try hair extensions. Lou liked the idea and even knew the right type of extensions that we could use. Now I am really excited by that prospect.
As Lou and Zee were looking at me with my newly cut hair Lou called me by my male name. Dressed as I was and feeling the way I did I decided that it was time for them to stop referring to me in that way.
I've been thinking for a while about a name for the future when I've gone full time, something that continued to use my current initials. On the way to Portmouth I'd finally found something that I liked so I told them what I'd decided.
My initials are W and J. Now I like Jenny and have been using it online for some time. Harder to find has been something beginning with W. A little while ago I found something I liked but it just didn't ring, on the trip down I'd found a version that did ring. So sitting there I introduced the girls to Willa Jen. They liked it so it looks like I've finally found the name I'll be using when I'm full time.

Finally though it was time for me to head off to my next rendezvous.
I slipped my wig back on and started to put it in a ponytail when Zee stopped me. She suggested doing something different with it. Grabbing a hair clip, she took the pony tail and twisted it around into more of a bun. The hair was fastened in place with the hair clip. With hair falling down the side of my face and the length at the back being sufficient to hide my own hair this was a muh more feminine style. In fact at the back it was very similar to the way that Zee was wearing her own hair.
We had a quick discussion about the planned shopping trip but the girls hadn't discussed it yet. I suggested that we wait until after my next session with Zee at the salon and then go while my body is sufficiently defuzzed. That means that my next trip out will be in October and will be a real major first for me as I go shopping as a female for the very first time. Better get practicing walking in those heels and talking as a female. Even though having Lou and Zee with me will give me lots of confidence it will be so much easier if I don't give people too many clues that I might not be what I seem.
With my bags in hand I headed out the salon door and walked the short distance to the car. Just as I reached it a family came out of a door opposite it. I crossed to the other side of the road and avoided eye contact but didn't hear any comments from them so it looks like I again managed to pass without anyone noticing, either that or if they did read me they simply didn't care.

Sugar and Spiced - Part 2

After wandering from Jo's house to the cemetary in Southsea and then back after having lots of pictures taken it was time for a bit of fun and some more pictures.
When I'd discuss with Jo what I wanted to get from my time one of the things I'd mentioned was having some pictures taken of me in bondage, I'd noticed some pictures of other girls on her website.
Back at Jo's house she freshened up my makeup and began looking for something suitable for me to wear. She found a short, black PVC skirt that was ideal. To go with that she found a see-through black blouse. I had only brought the one bra and that was white. Fortunately, Jo was able to find a black bra that fitted me and held my breastforms in place.
I quickly slipped into the new outfit while Jo went to fetch her husband, who was also at home, as he was more skilled at putting people into bondage.
I was sat in a chair and he began to apply ropes to my body.

Jo pointed out that if I wanted to stop at some point then I simply had to say. Apparently some girls find the fact that they are immobile and helpless disconcerting. I have to say that I felt completely at ease and had complete trust in Jo and her husband.
In no time at all I was securely bound to the chair and completely unable to move my arms or legs.

Jo had been taking pictures throughout but now her husband joined in.
I posed as best I could, trying to look appropriately frightened at times.
Suddenly I found myself being confronted by Jo's cat who decided that it wanted to get in on the photos and began wandering around my legs. At one point I honestly thought the cat was going to jump up onto my lap and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The cat, however, had other ideas and decided it was simply going to sit there and look up at me.

Finally though it was time to be released.I had felt completely safe throughout. I admitted to Jo that I'd enjoyed it and that I would be trying it again at some point. Who knows maybe I'll go back to Sugar and Spiced for a couple of hours and let Jo put me into bondage and leave me tied up for a lot longer.
Sadly my time with Jo had drawn to a close. I changed back into my jeans and blouse, Jo refreshed my lipstick and I slipped on my wig. We had a little bit of a play with it before I settled for my usual ponytail style.

Now it was time for me to take my next big step and walk back to my car on my own and drive from Portmouth back towards Somerset and my next appointment at the hair salon.

Friday, 13 August 2010

Sugar and Spiced - Part 1

I'm going to split this post into two as it turned out to be quite long by the time I'd got halfway through. So here's the first part of my visit to Sugar and Spiced.

The main part of Wednesday's activities was a makeover and photo session at Sugar and Spiced.
I was glad that, despite having lived in Southsea for most of the time I once lived in Portsmouth, I used the SatNav to get me to Jo's place otherwise I would have gotten lost because I thought that her street was in a completely different place to where it actually was.
I was able to park the car almost straight outside her house, which was perfect for when I needed to leave while dressed in my blouse, cardigan and jeans.
On arrival Jo made me a coffee and then told me to get changed into my undies before putting on a robe. I pointed out my need to shave and she showed me to the bathroom. Having availed myself of the facilities and with a freshly shaven face I slipped into the girdle I'd brought in order to make sure that I was as flat as possible in the nether regions. I attached my breastforms to my chest using adhesive strips and then slipped on my bra. Finally I slipped on the robe and returned downstairs.
Jo was waiting and after going through my makeup bag as I showed her the beard cover that I had she did a quick colour test using some Dermacolor.
With that out of the way Jo began to work her magic, and magic it certainly is.
I don't know how long she worked on me but eventually she finished. Jo slipped a wig onto my head and straightened it into shape.
Now was the time to get dressed. We decided that I should go with the clothes that I'd brought with me. I did contemplate wearing a skirt that she had dug out for me but after trying it on decided that the jeans would be the better option for a photoshoot.
With me dressed Jo went to put some shoes on. I grabbed my camera and slipped it into my shoulder bag.
Jo slipped a coat on and before I had a chance to contemplate not going out we were out the door and heading for the cemetary.
Although the cemetary is right at the end of her road, about 20 yards away, the entrance that we had to use is about 200 yards away. We started walking towards the entrance down the main road.
Just around the corner from Jo's house is a pub and we stopped off to take a picture in the alleyway between it and the shop next door.

As I was posing for the picture two young community police officers, that I'd pointed out to Jo walking along the road towards us, came past. Both of them looked in my direction, probably because they were wondering what Jo was doing, and then looked away again. The male officer didn't appear to read me, the female officer might have read me or was responding to something else but as she turned away I saw her smile.
We carried on walking past the pub when Jo spotted the bench outside. Next thing I know I'm sat on the bench while she takes some more pictures of me.

The last time I was at this pub was nearly 20 years ago when I met a young woman who I'd contacted through a dating agency. I'd never have guessed that then that the next time I was sat at the pub it would be as a woman myself.
Our journey continued for another 20 yards until Jo had me sit on a low wall for some more pictures. Having Jo there was definitely giving me the confidence I needed because there were people going past us all the time. Posing for pictures isn't the most natural thing to be doing in Southsea on a Wednesday afternoon so was going to draw attention to me. I didn't care though.

Eventually we reached the entrance to the cemetary and just had to cross the road. As its a busy main road there was a traffic island in the middle so we crossed to that point and then waited for a bus to pull up opposite and some cars to go past. As soon as I thought it was clear I crossed over the other side. Turning around I looked at Jo who was stood on the island waiting for a car to go past, grinning and waving at me.
Eek, there I was stood on my own and I didn't care.
Jo and I finally made it into the cemetary and began a leisurely walk around while we chatted about various things, pausing every so often to take some pictures.
Jo has taken girls to the cemetary enough times that she knows the best places to take pictures.

Half way through our walk we spotted a squirrel, then another. We wandered over towards them and found one of them sat on a gravestone munching on what looked like some bread that had been left there for some reason.

At last we reached the entrance once more and there was just time for one more picture opportunity. This provided the second occasion that I thought someone had read me. A guy walking past the entrance looked at Jo and I as she was taking my picture, he looked away and then looked back. He might have read me but then it might have been he was wondering why someone was taking pictures in a cemetary entrance.

We wandered back along the road passing a lot more people than we'd done on the way out and not one person gave the impression of having read me. Back at the house it felt so good to have been out and to have passed as far as I could tell.
As Jo did point out though because I'm only 5' 7” in bare feet I've not got the problem that I would have had if I was taller. Its on days like Wednesday that I'm actually glad that I'm not tall and probably a comparable height to a few of the women I know.

All of the pictures above were taken by Jo from Sugar and Spiced

Thursday, 12 August 2010

Handbag Shopping

Yesterday was a long and busy day for me.
Rather than try to blog about it all in one go I'm going space it out over a couple of posts, partly to avoid boring people but also so that I can take a bit of time to let it all sink in.
Although some of yesterday had a lot of things I'd done before there were a couple of firsts. By firsts I mean fairly major ones for me but I'll get to them in due course.

As I've posted recently I was going to go to Portmouth to a dressing agency, have some pictures done outside and then drive to my hair appointment in the evening. Well I did all of that an more.

While I was at the salon with Zee on Monday having my body defuzzed, I showed her what I was intending to wear for my hair appointment. One of the things I'd planned to wear was a pair of beige, wedge boot style sandals. Unfortunately I didn't have a handbag that would go with them so part of the plan for yesterday was to buy a handbag from somewhere.
On the off chance I couldn't find a suitable beige handbag I decided that I'd take another pair of wedge sandals that I have but which are a) black and b) have had Zee and L drooling over them in the pictures where I'm wearing them.

First thing yesterday morning I rang Jo and Sugar and Spiced, the dressing agency I was going to in order to confirm that I was still going to be there and also to check whether I would be able to shave off any stubble at her place so that I wouldn't get a beard shadow appearing until my day had finished. When she told me that I could then the rest of my day fell into place.
If I'd had to shave before arriving then I would have had to get a handbag at one of the local stores before heading to Portsmouth. As it was I could go to Portsmouth and wander around the shopping area at Gun Wharf Quay in order to find one I liked.
At 10am I set off on the 2 hour drive to Portsmouth. After parking the car I headed into the shopping area with 45 minutes to find that handbag. I was a girl on a mission.
Within 10 minutes I realised that this mission was going to be a lot more difficult than I'd anticipated. Although there were a number of stores that sold handbags either they didn't have anything suitable, were going to be too expensive or looked like I'd have to ask one of the sales assistants rather than simply browsing.
Realising that I was going to run out of time and there was a distinct chance of not finding that perfect bag I decided to go into the Osprey shop. Even with all the sales signs in the window I knew that this could seriously hurt my pocket.
As I entered the shop I could see this rather pretty, petite sales assistant looking at me. Rather than browse for something I headed towards her and enlisted her help.
On telling her that I was looking for a shoulder bag she asked was it for me. Tempting as it was to say yes, I knew that I'd then have to explain that I wanted a ladies shoulder bag and not a mens one.

"Its a present for my wife" I replied.

The young lady then began to show me a selection of shoulder bags from the sales displays. After exhausting those as an option and much as they were nice bags nothing jumped out at me. We started looking at the rest of the bags that were in the price range I wanted to pay.
As we were trying to find something along came another assistant to see if the first one needed any help. After explaining what we were looking for the second one ushered us over to another part of the shop.
Well the bags she showed us were adorable. I took one look at them and knew that it was exactly what I was looking for.
The original assistant picked up one of the bags and showed it to me and I was sold. Before she could even think of showing me another one I told her that I'd take it.
Five minutes later I was leaving the shop with my new Osprey leather shoulder bag. Mission accomplished.
Now I had just enough time put on some coloured nail polish and get to Sugar and Spiced, no time to grab a bite to eat like I'd also planned.

Monday, 9 August 2010

New lashes

Had my latest visit to the salon today to get all that horrible hair removed from my body. Apart from some areas its definitely not as painful as it was when I first had it waxed.

The thing that hurts the most though is having my eyebrows waxed, especially when Zee plucks out the stray hairs.
We had a long chat today about what I've been up to so I had to fill her in about my last chat with personnel at work, my leg injury and not being able to race last weekend and the fact that I'm finally going to be having a chat with my wife next week about transitioning.
We also talked about my trip to Portmouth on Wedesday. She was really enthusiastic about the fact that I'm going to be going out as Jenny to have the photos taken. I expect that I'm going to have to tell Zee and L all about my trip on Wednesday evening when I'm having my hair done.
Zee told me that she had discussed it with L who said something along the lines of "hell yes". If she is that enthusiastic just being told about it I don't know what she's going to be like when I actually walk through the door and she gets to see me properly for the first time.
Before I left I showed Zee what I planned to wear to travel back from Portsmouth to the salon. It met with her approval as something that I could wear to the hair salon and wouldn't look out of place.
Since I'm planning on being in Portsmouth so that I have enough time to go for a wander around the shops and then have a bite to eat, unfortunately in male mode as I haven't worked up to going shopping on my own en femme yet, then I might be able to pick up a handbag that will go with my wedge sandals.
Shopping as Jenny is one of the things that Zee, L and myself are going to be discussing on Wednesday evening.

I was hoping that I'd be able to spend a couple of hours after having my hair done as Jenny so that I could arrive back home as Jenny and get into the house without any of the neighbours spotting me. Its not looking like that is going to be an easy thing though. It means that I have to find something to do for at least 2 hours as L will probably have to lock up the salon by 8, there aren't going to be any other customers in there after 7pm which is when I have my appointment. Both L and Zee have people that will be expecting them home some time after 8 so I'm going to have to see what I can come up with.

I am tempted to ring an old friend and see if she wants to meet up but that would mean coming out to her sa she doesn't know Jenny and I have no idea how she would react to meeting me. It might be a chance to see how an older friend might react. Hmmm, will have to give that some thought as if she reacted favourably then we might be able to spend a couple of hours at her place talking and catching up with other things. Definitely need to give it some thought.

Saturday, 7 August 2010

Lovely week ahead

Its Saturday evening. I've just finished putting the first coat of paint on both the bathroom and toilet door.
The oven is heating up so that I can make myself some dinner.
The house is quiet as for the next week I have the place to myself as the family are staying at my sister-in-laws in the Cotswolds.
I have an entire week to be myself.

First thing Monday morning I've an appointment with Zee for a full body wax, eyebrow wax and an eyelash tint.
The plan with the eyelash tint is to go for something in a black rather than the brown that I had the last time. It will be interesting to see if anyone notices the change in my eye lash colour on Tuesday when I go into work.

After I've finished at the salon then I'll probably pop into one of the local department stores and pick up a new girdle. I'm going to need something to try and keep everything in the lower regions securely out of the way for the outfit that I plan to wear on Wednesday to drive back from Portsmouth. I quickly tried it on today and I think it looks nice. With full make-up and wig then I think I will look like any other woman I might see on the street.
I'm going to be wearing a sleeveless blouse, a pair of jeans and a waterfall cardigan. I've also got a pair of beige wedge sandal/boots to wear which should be easier for me to walk in on pavement that a pair of normal heels. I might need to get a new handbag to go with the shoes though. Its such a hard life having to coordinate all these accessories.
Hopefully dressed like this, when I'm making my way between the car and the hair salon Wednesday evening then nobody will give me a second glance.

I am so looking forward to Wednesday, its going to be so much fun.

Monday, 2 August 2010

Why do you want to be a women

Tabby over at Being Femm posted a link to this video in one of her posts recently. I loved it so much that I thought I'd link to it here too.

Complicated Universal Cum - I can hardly wait from Fake Diamond Records on Vimeo.

I finally got around to watching this today. Its one of the tenderest things I've seen in a long time.
Both of them are so gentle and the way they touch and kiss is so sensuous.
As I watched it I found myself thinking that I would love to be the dark haired woman.
On my walk to work I couldn't help but think about what I'd seen and as I did I realised that if I happened to find myself in the dark haired woman's position then I know exactly who the blond woman would be.
I've actually mentioned her a few times in my posts as I've known her a little while now and she's been a real help to me and is also just as gorgeous looking as the blond in the video. I'll never be in that position though with her but I can dream!
The thing that really caught me while watching the video was the end. When the dark haired woman turns her head slightly and looks at the camera, the look in her eyes tells you that she is the one in charge, she is the dominant one of the two.
To experience something so tender and loving is definitely got to be part of what being a woman is about.