Going out

In the last 8 months I've been out as myself a grand total of twice.

The first was last summer when I went to Sugar and Spiced for the first ever time and with Jo's help went for a walk in the afternoon to the local cemetary where I had lots of pictures of me taken.

The second time was in December when I again went to see Jo and this time had a much shorter trip out which took us into the local shopping area and then around a few of the side streets before returning back to Jo's.

On the both occasions I drove back from Portmouth without bothering to get changed and remove my make-up. Both times I stopped to see my hairdresser, the first time for a hair appointment and so she could see what I looked like with make-up in order to work out the best thing to do with my hair. The second time to say hello.

Tomorrow I've got my next burlesque lesson in Bristol. I'm going to be up at 5am, washed, shaved, hair styled (to the best of my ability) in a feminine style, make-up on, skirt and top then out of the house before 7am and the rest of the neighbours start moving around and going to work. My lesson is at 10am at the teachers home because I didn't want it to be at her friends house because of her husband and children being around. It wasn't possible to get another venue which is a mixed blessing as it would most likely have been in the city centre and meant me parking the car and then walking to the dance studio and back with lots of people about. A great test of how I deal with lots of other people but one that I might need some help with in order to do the first time. Especially as I don't have other people doing my hair and make-up for me.

At least the venue is away from the city centre so it will be a bit easier for me.

After the lesson I'm hoping that I'll be able to catch up with one of my friends in order that she can finally meet Jenny. That should be an interesting experience for us both.

It does look though that at least on the way up I'm going to be stopping off at the services on the motorway in order to stretch the journey out a little bit. On the way back it will be a bit easier as hopefully I can make a straight trip back. Only problem is that in order to get back into the house without running the guantlet of the neighbours I might just have to remove my make-up. I will be so glad when everything is out in the open and I don't have to do that.

Pictures and report when I get back.

Sugar and Spiced - The Modelling Trip

I've finally had my second visit to Sugar and Spiced in Portsmouth and what fun it was.
The trip didn't exactly go to plan as I'd intended to travel down to Portsmouth on the Wednesday so that I could go out for a meal at La Tasca in Gun Wharf, my first time out en femme. In the end things didn't pan out and so I changed things.
On the Thursday morning of my trip I drove to my hairdressers as I'd rearrange my appointment to get my hair done. I'd made the decision that I didn't want to end up wearing a wig after I'd been made over by Jo.
Lou did wonders with my hair, as usual, the highlights left me looking a lot blonder than last time. By the time she'd finished styling it I had a lovely feminine style. I couldn't wait to see what I'd look like with make-up and and outfit on.
The trip to Portsmouth was pretty uneventful. I did have to make a stop at a services on the way in order to top up the screen wash in the car and also to pay a visit to the little girls room. Before I'd left Mere I'd put on a coat of red nail polish so that my nails would be ready for when I arrived at Jo's. Going into the men's rest room was interesting. I'd worn a pair of gloves so that my nails weren't visible. The place was empty but I still nipped into a cubicle. While I was in there I heard a lot of noise as a group of boisterous guys came in. It sounded like a stag party had come in to use the facilities. I was not looking forward to leaving but couldn't delay any longer. With gloves hiding my lovely red finger nails I emerged and found myself having to walk past a couple of soldiers. Safely back at the car I topped up the screen wash and set off again.
Arriving at Jo's I found that the lovely parking space that I'd been able to avail my self of in the summer wasn't available. In the end I had to drive several hundred yards down the road and park the car.
My plan had been to drive back home en femme and to either return to the house in that way or to get changed and remove my make-up at some point on the journey. With the car this far away and a large bag with all my stuff to get from Jo's to the car I wasn't looking forward to it. In the end it wasn't to be a problem and the few people that I passed didn't take much notice of the loan female putting her bag into the car.
When I arrived at Jo's she was pleased to see me. We moved through to the room that she worked her magic with make-up and clothes. Jo had already picked out a few things for me to wear but as I already had my own outfits with me we went straight to me slipping into the outfit that I'd planned to wear to La Tasca the previous evening.

Once I was dressed, and with the help of my gorgeous black corset to provide a bit more shape to my figure, Jo made up my face. With no need for a wig we were soon ready for some pictures.
We went through to the lounge and wow! Last time things were really simple, a camera and me. This time I felt like I'd walked into a photoshoot in a big studio. Everything was high-tech, which for a girl like me was ever so slightly distracting.
I posed and pouted as best I could for Jo. I really did feel like a model, even to the point that I said that perhaps there was a career change possible for me.
My purple dress was followed by a leather buckle dress and jacket, very biker or rock chick. The jacket was something I'd seen someone wearing in a picture with a leather dress and thought that looks fabulous. When I originally bought it I found it was a size too small and on taking it back the store had sold out. The other week I happened to be back in there looking for some stockings and something to wear during the morning before going to Jo's and I found the jacket in the size I wanted. Fate was smiling kindly on me that day.
More pictures followed some with we wearing the jacket

and some with me just wearing the dress.

With both of my outfits out of the way Jo and I went for a bit of fun and got me into a Mrs Claus outfit which was so much fun to pose in. I loved posing in it so much that I'm considering getting pictures taken at Easter of me in a bunny girl costume. Hmm, who knows maybe I'll try and get some themed pictures at Valentines and Halloween too. Now that would be an interesting project for next year.

After having a bit of fun with that outfit we went for the last change of outfit but one. This time we went for a glamorous look and I slipped into a gorgeous blue evening dress. Oh boy, it clung to every single curve of my body. With my own little black jacket finishing it off I would have been proud to go to any black tie event wearing it.

More pictures followed until there was just enough time for one more change of outfit. This time I slipped into the outfit that I was planning on wearing to travel back home. Unfortunately there aren't any pictures of this outfit but it consisted of a pair of brown corduroy trousers, a beige tunic top and brown wrap cardigan, a pair of calf length boots and I was all set. I looked at Jo and asked if we could go for a walk. She was more than happy.
By now thought it was too dark for a walk in the cemetery so we simply went for a walk around some of the streets in Southsea.
It was so good to be out and about again. Even though it was dark there were quite a few people around. A few people glanced at me but Jo reassured me that it was, in the case of the guys, that they might find me attractive. Most people didn't give me a second glance, or if they did it was behind my back and I certainly wasn't going to look behind me to see if anyone was looking at me.
During the entire trip there were only two women who I thought might have read me. They were standing at a bus stop which we passed just as the bus was arriving. Both of them glanced at me and I thought the looks that they gave me said that they had read me. I might be wrong about it, I'll never know.
When we arrived back at Jo's I asked her to refresh my make-up and then I gather my things together and having said my goodbyes walked back to the car wheeling my bag behind me.
Nobody paid me any attention, not even the young woman who was stood outside a house about 10 yards from where I was putting my bag into my car and changing my shoes for something that I could drive in.
The trip back was uneventful. I stopped and saw Lou so she could see the end result of her handiwork, then made my way back towards home. At the last possible moment I stopped, removed my make-up and changed my top for a more masculine shirt. My shoes I changed for a pair of trainers but I did leave on the cords.
Just like in the summer the day was absolutely fantastic and takes me one step closer to going out during daylight somewhere more public. Shopping, eating out somewhere. The possibilities are endless and I think my confidence is so high now that it will just be a matter of time before it happens. When it does I'll be telling all about it here.

Inching forward

Last Friday my wife went to a friend's house for a girls night as it was her friend's birthday and they were celebrating.
That left my son and I on our own at home.
As soon as she was out of the house we sat down and watched an episode of Warehouse 13 that we had recorded.
Once we'd watched it I got my son to get ready for bed as I wanted a bit of time to myself.
By the time that his hamster had been fed and watered and had a run around in his ball it was 9:30. Off to bed went my son.
Once he was settled in bed I popped up to say good night. I've started to raise the subject of Jenny with him a few times but not the subject of transitioning. The closest I've come is showing him a picture of me in stockings and basque that was taken at a showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
A couple of days after he'd seen the picture we had a conversation which ended with him asking me if I'd worn a blouse. I told him yes but that I couldn't tell him anymore.
A few days later I mentioned it to him and said I would tell him when I wore a blouse but couldn't at the time.

On Friday night, with my wife out and him in bed, I mentioned it to him again. I told him that I'd worn one in the summer. He didn't believe me so I told him I had pictures to prove it. He asked to see them so I told him I'd show them to him on the Saturday when his mum was out for a drink with another friend who has just had a birthday.


Well Saturday morning arrived and my wife phoned our friend to confirm when they were going out. That was when my plans went pear-shaped. My wife came off the phone and said that she wasn't going out as our friend had a soar throat. She's been unwell this week and so it wasn't really surprising. They decided that they would go out another time.
Any idea that I had that I'd show my son the pictures from the summer went right out of the window as I wouldn't have any opportunity.
Later on we went out shopping and I had an idea. On Wednesday night my wife is going to be out at a church group we attend. I wont be going as I'm taking our son to see the new Harry Potter film. The good thing about doing that is I will be able to take the pictures with me and when we are on our way back, or back home if the film finishes early enough, I'll be able to show them to him and explain things. Not everything but at least some things.
If I can get him used to the idea of my female side then life will be a bit easier in someways but also a lot harder in others. I doubt if his mum will be deliriously happy about him knowing but then again I'm not happy about the idea of having to hide this side of me from him. In 4 to 6 years time, if my wife has her way, when I tell him about all this then he's going to wonder why I didn't tell him sooner. How much trust can a young adult have in a parent who has kept such a secret from them. My son trusts me so much. To find out that I have kept something this major from him for his whole life will be very difficult for him to comprehend. Best to start getting used to the idea now.

Sugar and Spiced - Part 2

After wandering from Jo's house to the cemetary in Southsea and then back after having lots of pictures taken it was time for a bit of fun and some more pictures.

When I'd discuss with Jo what I wanted to get from my time one of the things I'd mentioned was having some pictures taken of me in bondage, I'd noticed some pictures of other girls on her website.

Back at Jo's house she freshened up my makeup and began looking for something suitable for me to wear. She found a short, black PVC skirt that was ideal. To go with that she found a see-through black blouse. I had only brought the one bra and that was white. Fortunately, Jo was able to find a black bra that fitted me and held my breastforms in place.

I quickly slipped into the new outfit while Jo went to fetch her husband, who was also at home, as he was more skilled at putting people into bondage.

I was sat in a chair and he began to apply ropes to my body.

Jo pointed out that if I wanted to stop at some point then I simply had to say. Apparently some girls find the fact that they are immobile and helpless disconcerting. I have to say that I felt completely at ease and had complete trust in Jo and her husband.

In no time at all I was securely bound to the chair and completely unable to move my arms or legs.

Jo had been taking pictures throughout but now her husband joined in.

I posed as best I could, trying to look appropriately frightened at times.

Suddenly I found myself being confronted by Jo's cat who decided that it wanted to get in on the photos and began wandering around my legs. At one point I honestly thought the cat was going to jump up onto my lap and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The cat, however, had other ideas and decided it was simply going to sit there and look up at me.

Finally though it was time to be released.I had felt completely safe throughout. I admitted to Jo that I'd enjoyed it and that I would be trying it again at some point. Who knows maybe I'll go back to Sugar and Spiced for a couple of hours and let Jo put me into bondage and leave me tied up for a lot longer.

Sadly my time with Jo had drawn to a close. I changed back into my jeans and blouse, Jo refreshed my lipstick and I slipped on my wig. We had a little bit of a play with it before I settled for my usual ponytail style.

Now it was time for me to take my next big step and walk back to my car on my own and drive from Portmouth back towards Somerset and my next appointment at the hair salon.

Sugar and Spiced - Part 1

I'm going to split this post into two as it turned out to be quite long by the time I'd got halfway through. So here's the first part of my visit to Sugar and Spiced.


The main part of Wednesday's activities was a makeover and photo session at Sugar and Spiced.
I was glad that, despite having lived in Southsea for most of the time I once lived in Portsmouth, I used the SatNav to get me to Jo's place otherwise I would have gotten lost because I thought that her street was in a completely different place to where it actually was.
I was able to park the car almost straight outside her house, which was perfect for when I needed to leave while dressed in my blouse, cardigan and jeans.
On arrival Jo made me a coffee and then told me to get changed into my undies before putting on a robe. I pointed out my need to shave and she showed me to the bathroom. Having availed myself of the facilities and with a freshly shaven face I slipped into the girdle I'd brought in order to make sure that I was as flat as possible in the nether regions. I attached my breastforms to my chest using adhesive strips and then slipped on my bra. Finally I slipped on the robe and returned downstairs.
Jo was waiting and after going through my makeup bag as I showed her the beard cover that I had she did a quick colour test using some Dermacolor.
With that out of the way Jo began to work her magic, and magic it certainly is.
I don't know how long she worked on me but eventually she finished. Jo slipped a wig onto my head and straightened it into shape.
Now was the time to get dressed. We decided that I should go with the clothes that I'd brought with me. I did contemplate wearing a skirt that she had dug out for me but after trying it on decided that the jeans would be the better option for a photoshoot.
With me dressed Jo went to put some shoes on. I grabbed my camera and slipped it into my shoulder bag.
Jo slipped a coat on and before I had a chance to contemplate not going out we were out the door and heading for the cemetary.
Although the cemetary is right at the end of her road, about 20 yards away, the entrance that we had to use is about 200 yards away. We started walking towards the entrance down the main road.
Just around the corner from Jo's house is a pub and we stopped off to take a picture in the alleyway between it and the shop next door.

As I was posing for the picture two young community police officers, that I'd pointed out to Jo walking along the road towards us, came past. Both of them looked in my direction, probably because they were wondering what Jo was doing, and then looked away again. The male officer didn't appear to read me, the female officer might have read me or was responding to something else but as she turned away I saw her smile.
We carried on walking past the pub when Jo spotted the bench outside. Next thing I know I'm sat on the bench while she takes some more pictures of me.

The last time I was at this pub was nearly 20 years ago when I met a young woman who I'd contacted through a dating agency. I'd never have guessed that then that the next time I was sat at the pub it would be as a woman myself.
Our journey continued for another 20 yards until Jo had me sit on a low wall for some more pictures. Having Jo there was definitely giving me the confidence I needed because there were people going past us all the time. Posing for pictures isn't the most natural thing to be doing in Southsea on a Wednesday afternoon so was going to draw attention to me. I didn't care though.

Eventually we reached the entrance to the cemetary and just had to cross the road. As its a busy main road there was a traffic island in the middle so we crossed to that point and then waited for a bus to pull up opposite and some cars to go past. As soon as I thought it was clear I crossed over the other side. Turning around I looked at Jo who was stood on the island waiting for a car to go past, grinning and waving at me.
Eek, there I was stood on my own and I didn't care.
Jo and I finally made it into the cemetary and began a leisurely walk around while we chatted about various things, pausing every so often to take some pictures.
Jo has taken girls to the cemetary enough times that she knows the best places to take pictures.

Half way through our walk we spotted a squirrel, then another. We wandered over towards them and found one of them sat on a gravestone munching on what looked like some bread that had been left there for some reason.

At last we reached the entrance once more and there was just time for one more picture opportunity. This provided the second occasion that I thought someone had read me. A guy walking past the entrance looked at Jo and I as she was taking my picture, he looked away and then looked back. He might have read me but then it might have been he was wondering why someone was taking pictures in a cemetary entrance.

We wandered back along the road passing a lot more people than we'd done on the way out and not one person gave the impression of having read me. Back at the house it felt so good to have been out and to have passed as far as I could tell.

As Jo did point out though because I'm only 5' 7” in bare feet I've not got the problem that I would have had if I was taller. Its on days like Wednesday that I'm actually glad that I'm not tall and probably a comparable height to a few of the women I know.

All of the pictures above were taken by Jo from Sugar and Spiced