Saturday, 29 May 2010

Best Ever Day - Hair Salon

This is the final part of my day on Thursday.
After my shopping trip I drove back and made my way to the little town where I go to get my hair done.
I had planned my journey back so that I would arrive in time for the appointment, maybe with a little bit of time to spare.
No such luck. I had a complete bimbo moment and as a result ended up an hour early.
Fortunately I was able to sit in the car and write up a post for the blog on my laptop.
Just before my appointment was due I put the laptop in a the bag with all my purchases and headed up the street to the salon.
The town I go to is pretty quiet at that time of the evening so I can get away with wearing a pair of studs. I love the feeling of having earring in both ears. Normally I wear just the one.
I arrived at the salon and it was empty. Lou, the hairdresser, makes sure that I'm the only one there when I go so that me can chat more freely.
Lou was out back when I arrived but came into the salon when she heard the door close.
I put my bag down out of the way and accepted the offer of a coffee. Before she left to get the coffee she told me that her brother was out back mending something.
This could be interesting I thought. If he is out there then our conversation wont be the same as the previous time I went there.
After a couple of minutes Lou came back out with the coffee and her brother in tow. He'd finished what he was doing and was leaving. We said hello to each other as he left.

I have to admit that the girl in me is certainly coming out more. In work I am surrounded by men. I've got friends that are supporting me as I am transitioning who have asked me if I thinking I'm going to be attracted to men or women at the end of all this. I honestly don't know. Certainly there is nobody among the men at work or among my circle of friends that I would say I'm attracted to. I'd run away screaming if any of the guys at work made a play for me. Most of them are too young and the ones that are more my age I don't find at all appealing.
A certain gentleman who reads this blog will be glad to hear that I'm sure and will probably take me to task concerning that later this week.
Anyway before I ramble off to much at a tangent, on my way home later I found L's brother popped into my thoughts and I found myself thinking that he was nice looking and might be nice to get to know better.
I'm definitely going to be in trouble with a certain person later this week if I keep having thoughts like that.

After Lou's brother had left we sat down facing each other with our drinks. The last time I saw Lou was just before my appointment with Dr Brook. I'd wanted to make sure that my hair looked its best for the appointment.
The look on Lou's face said "come on tell all, I want to know what's been happening."
I told her about meeting the psychiatrist and what she'd told me I had to do before she would see me again and help me to progress with my treatment. I told her about my chat with personnel at work. Then I told Lou about telling my sister that I was planning to transition.
Lou was so thrilled for me. She has realised just how much I want this from the short amount of time that we have known each other.
Of course while she was still thrilled from that I had to tell her about seeing my parents and telling them.
By the time I'd finished telling her about this she was so happy for me.
Time was getting on so we went into the back of the shop and she started dealing with my hair. She got out some straighteners and applied them to the sides and back of my head. Next time I go I will be collecting a small pair of straighteners that she has ordered for me. My hair tends to curl quite easily and that is one of the reasons that I got it severely cut the last time I tried to grow it out. Although I had straighteners then it took some time to get my hair straight in the mornings and after showers. Most of the time, once it was long enough, I would put lashings of gel on it and pull it back into a very, very small ponytail.
Lou didn't take too long to straighten and trim my hair. She's decided that having it long will look better on me and I agree with her. I want it at least shoulder length eventually but a decent bob will do as a start.
We talked about what colour I wanted it and she produced a couple of colour samples, one was a simply gorgeous red colour which I'm already hooked on and the other was a blonde colour. She's thinking that I could get away with some blonde highlights. We'll see.
Eventually we had finished with my hair and because I'd mentioned that I'd been shopping and that my purchases were in the bag I'd brought with me, Lou wanted to see them.
I got out the sandals, the leggings, the top and the dresses. Lou loved the sandals, in fact she loved everything that I'd bought. She was impressed with what I'd bought and said that I liked the classic look which is true. She then told me how I could dress up some of the things with belts, coloured leggings, ballet pump style shoes. So many tips and I'm going to follow up on some of the tips without a doubt.
Lou even approved of the lingerie that I'd bought as well.
Eventually it was time to leave. As I was leaving she said that I had a great figure. Since she has a lovely figure herself I was very flattered.
She went over some of the suggestions that she had about clothes and things and when I said perhaps I should take her with me she said she'd go. I just might hold her to that one of these days.
I can't wait until my next appointment. I'm not going to have progressed much further with telling the family. I'm waiting until mid August to tell the wife and son as we've got some family things planned which I want to go smoothly and not result in aggrevation before they are out of the way. By mid August all of those will be done and I'll be free to tell the wife that I am transitioning.

The drive home from the salon was relaxing. I managed to get the bag with all my purchases into the house without the wife finding out what was in the bag.
There was one slight hiccup when I got back home. While worrying about getting my purchases into the house and put away without being interrupted I completely forgot the fact that I was still wearing both studs. I'm pretty sure that the wife didn't notice, if she did then she certainly hasn't mentioned it.

All in all Thursday was the best day ever for me.

Friday, 28 May 2010

Best Day Ever - Shopping

On the way back from seeing my parents in Wales I stopped off in Bristol at Cribbs Causeway. For those not familiar with it, Cribbs is a large mall on the outskirts of Bristol with a variety of shops.
I'd actually debated where to go shopping and had considered a number of cities that were on my route home. In the end I decided on Bristol because despite the chance that I might bump into someone I wouldn't have to pay for parking or wander for miles to just get to the shops.
I had a list of things I wanted to get and a good idea of where to get them as I'd already browsed the Cribbs website.
First stop was John Lewis as I thought it might have some of the things that I was looking for. As I wandered the shop looking at dresses and tops I couldn't believe the prices that they were charging. Eventually I gave up but not before noticing a display with what looked to be bridal lingerie. I decided that if I couldn't find the undies that I was looking for I'd come back and take another look.
I wandered to the other end of the mall and went into Marks and Spencers. As I wandered around looking to see if they had anything that was on my list I was a bit disappointed. They had lots of dresses and skirts and tops but nothing that I found myself thinking that I had to have.
Eventually I headed back out and made my way to Bhs.
As I wandered around the store I found myself coming across several tops and dresses that I liked. As I was thinking that I needed a basket an older sales assistant came up to me and asked if I needed any help. Tempting as it was I declined the offer and carried on.
In the end I picked up a top and waistcoat affair, two sleeveless dresses, and a pair of leggings. I didn't see any shoes or lingerie that I liked.
After paying for my selections I started to leave the store, just as I was walking towards the exit I bumped into the sales assistant again who said goodbye to me. I thought she was a really nice lady.
With the remainder of my shopping to find I wandered from one end of the mall to the other. There was a lot to choose from but none of them seemed to have what I was looking for in the style that I like.
Eventually I found myself back in Marks and Spencers.
I made my way to the lingerie section and wandered around trying to find suspender belts. Finally after much searching I found some with matching panties and bra. Colour wasn't what I was wanted but I wasn't going to be picky. A quick look through the bras and once more I found myself stuck. There was not one bra in my size and cup.
By now I was getting desperate so another trip to the other end of the mall and back to John Lewis. I made my way to where I'd seen the bridal lingerie. Yes, they had something with suspenders. It turned out to be a pair of knickers with suspenders attached. I looked to see if they had my size and then I checked the price. Ouch, far too expensive.
What to do? Back along the mall and into Marks once again. This time I had a good look around the lingerie section and found some undies that were my size and which looked nice. Time for a basket.
As I'd wandered around the shop I'd seen a pair of wedge sandals that I liked and so these went into the basket. In the lingerie section I selected a bra and panties that I liked and then added some stockings for good measure.
As I was looking to see if there was anything else that I liked I came across the sports bras. An idea came into my head. If I could find one in my size I might just be able to wear it, even if I didn't quite fill it out. A quick browse and I found the perfect one. Into the basket it went.
I went to the cash desk and paid for everything.
By now I was having a really good time. I'd got nearly everything I wanted so I stopped off and had something to eat at KFC. It was getting on for 4 o'clock and I'd worked out that it would take me nearly two hours to get my next destination for the day. I made my back to my car.
As I put my purchases into the boot I decided that it would be nice to slip on the sports bra and to wear that to drive homewards.
I should have decided to put the bra on in the toilets in the mall. Sitting in my car and trying to slip on a bra without taking my top off and letting the whole world see what I was doing was very strenuous. I was sweating by the time I had had several attempts and finally decided that the best way to do it was to slip it around my waist and fasten it then turn it around, pull it up and slip my arms into it. By the time I was decently dressed again I had worked up a real sweat.
I thoroughly enjoyed my shopping expedition. I've now got two new dresses, a new top and waistcoat, a pair of leggings that will go with the top and a pair of wedge sandals. The only thing that would have made the trip better was to have had a girlfriend along with me to help me browse and choose.

The drive back was uneventful, the sensation from wearing the sports bra was really pleasant. However, it wasn't straight home for me but one more visit to make. More about that in my next post though.

Thursday, 27 May 2010

Two down, one and a bit to go

This is a bit of long post, please stick with it as its the most awesome thing that has happened to me in a while. I've literally been glowing and so relaxed since, I know because I've been told by someone.

I took today off work. I told the wife and son that I was working at one of the companies other offices and that it was short notice so I needed the use of our car.
I got up at 6am and had a coffee and bagel to keep me going. Before I had even had a chance to drink my coffee the wife got up and came downstairs saying that she couldn't sleep and was thirsty. She made herself a cup of tea and sat down in the lounge with me.
That first hour after getting up is my special time and so when anyone else gets up an intrudes on it I find myself getting annoyed. This morning was no different but it did give me that extra incentive to finish breakfast and the go wash, shave and get dressed.
It takes me slightly longer in mornings to finish with the bathroom as I've been using moisturiser on my face for a few weeks now. At the moment I'm using an Oil of Ulay day moisturiser which does seem to be helping my skin.
Having finished with the bathroom I went to get dressed. Phew, close call though. I'd planned to wear a pair of pink, satiny panties under my male clothes. I was just pulling them up my legs when I heard the wife coming up the stairs. A bit of frantic dressing and I managed to get my jeans on over the panties before she walked in to the bedroom. Top on, socks on and I was dressed and ready to face the outside world.
Shoes on, pick up wallet, keys and phone, throw laptop into a bag because I might need it (plus its an excuse to take an extra bag that I can use to put some bits and pieces in while shopping for some new clothes) and out the doors by 7:15.
The reason for taking today off work was so that I could drive up to Wales to see my parents and explain to them about my transitioning.
I've been dreading having to do this ever since the psychiatrist told me that I would have to tell my family about transitioning before she would see me again.
During the drive to my parents I rehearsed what I was going to say, thought about their possible reactions and then rehearsed some more.
Eventually I pulled up outside their house. I'd taken a folder with all the paperwork I've picked up about transitioning including one from MIND on Gender Dysphoria.
I rang the doorbell, then rang again, then once more to be sure. Typical, I'd driven all that way and they were out.
Back in the car and drive to the big out of town supermarket to park the car.
Phones parents on their mobile phone. No answer. Phone their home number. No answer.
Phone sister. No answer but able to leave a voice message asking her if she knew where they were.
My sister eventually got back to me to tell me that she thought that they might have gone to a doctors appointment that my father had.
Ok. Drive back to parents house to find that they still aren't there.
This time I drove to a different retail park, tried phoning them but still no reply. Since another part of today's business was to buy some new outfits I had a look in some of the clothes shops. Sadly nothing jumped out at me.
Wandered back to the car and rang parents home phone again. This time my dad answered. We chatted as he filled me in about my niece who is staying with them at the moment while her sister is in hospital. I'd already had the details from my sister earlier so there wasn't anything new for him to tell me.
Briefly spoke to my mum and told her I'd speak to her soon.
At last I know that they are home.
Off we go again to parents house.
Park car, go to door. Ring doorbell, no answer, knock on door, no answer. Oh come on, you can't have gone out again that quickly. One last loud know on the the door and my mum answers it.
She said hello to me and then did a double take as she realised it was me.
In we go and I'm all psyched up ready for this, carefully prepared speech at the ready.
Dads out. He's gone to the betting office.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I explained to my mum that I needed to speak to her and my dad together but that everyone is ok.
For the next half hour I got to drink a mug of coffee and play with my 18 month old niece who by now has calmed down after shedding tears because she didn't recognise me and doesn't like not knowing who people are at the moment.
Eventually my dad comes back and its time for me to tell them about me transitioning.
I open my mouth to give my prepared speech and my mind goes blank so I had to come up with an explanation on the spot.
I told them that I'd had a problem all my life and that I was finally doing something about it. I told them that I had gender dysphoria, which my mum looked blank at. I explained that I'd always hated being male and wanted to be female. I passed my mum the MIND booklet. Eventually she twigged and asked me if I wanted a sex change.
I was prepared for them to be shocked and not want me to do it.
I wasn't prepared for my mum to accept it. My dad sat there quietly as normal.
We talked about a lot of things after that. The key thing that my mum did say was that I should have told them before. In fact I should have told them before I got married.
She then turned to my dad and said, “oh well, we'll have two daughters rather than a son and daughter.” She then turned to me and said “well you wont be borrowing any of my clothes.”
I love my mum, even when I throw them something completely outside their experience she takes it in her stride.
She was getting emotional but gave me a hug.
Eventually I had to leave in order to start the journey home. Mum gave me a hug and when I went to give my niece a goodbye kiss my dad, who was holding her, gave me a hug.
A hug! My dad and I never give each other hugs. I've so wanted to give him a hug over the years but the macho men don't hug thing has always got in the way. Perhaps he's already thinking of me as a daughter and its acceptable to give daughters a hug. I hope so. I love my dad, just when I think I know him he surprises me.
They are taking my niece back to her parents this weekend, they are aware that she knows about my transitioning so I know what they will be talking about.

The last thing that happened before I left was that as its my parents wedding anniversary tomorrow mum reminded me and I wished them happy anniversary. I told them we hadn't sent a card because I can never remember when their anniversary is exactly. My dad said that he forgets!
Mum came over to me and said that what I'd told them was the best anniversary present I could have given them.

I am such a lucky girl to have the family I have.

Of course that wasn't all that happened today. Today has been the best day ever but I'm going to tell about the rest of the day in a couple more posts, including explaining the glowing bit I mentioned at the start.

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Caption

I was reading a caption that Nadine has just posted .  As I was looking at the picture of the sexy young woman I found myself thinking "wow, that is such a lovely top she's wearing I wonder where she got it from."

Think my mindset is changing. One of these days I'm going to have to ask some of the females I know what they think when they see another woman. Might ask L in personnel at work next time I'm having a chat with her, or some of my friends that know about Jenny.

New outfit

I ordered an outfit from M & S on the weekend. I'm going to pick it up tomorrow from the local store.
I've got an  Autograph pure silk short sleeve shift dress, linen blend open front oblong cardigan and T-Bar high heel platform shoes waiting for me.
I can't wait until I get the chance to where them, which will be the week after next. My family are going to stay at my sister-in-laws for a few days and so I've got the house to myself and the chance to relax and be me for a few days.
Well at least a few evenings anyway as my mornings are going to be busy, apart from one, helping with a children's holiday club and the rest of the time I'll be working. Monday and Tuesday evening and all of the Thursday are me time.
On the Tuesday afternoon I'm going to be getting a bodywax and eyelash tint so that I feel and look my best for Thursday. I'm so tempted to take the new outfit with me to show Zee. I might even take it with me next week to show Lou when she does my hair.
I would love to be able to invite some of the friends who have been helping me by providing me with somebody to talk to so that they can meet Jenny. I think it might be a bit too early for that. However, I might mention to them that I'm going to have some me time for the first time in ages.
The Thursday will be a really special day and the reason that I've bought the dress. Finally Sam and I are going to meet up face to face. He is coming around for lunch and a chat.
Oh it will be so good to be able to spend some time as the submissive housewife to a dominant male. I really can't wait to cook for him and look after him like a proper wife would. I'm hoping that he'll take me in his arms, kiss me and make me feel like his wife.
Sam is going to take some pictures of me as well so I'll post some of me in my new dress afterwards.

Saturday, 8 May 2010

Getting sporty

Tomorrow morning I've got to be up very early. A quick bite of food and then I've got to pack the bike on top of the car, through my kit bag in the bag and then get around to the local waterpark so that I can get set up for my first triathlon of the year and my third race.
I've done two running races so far this year. A short 7 mile race local to where I live in February and a 20 mile race at Seaton in Devon in March. Both of them were cross country.
Tomorrow I've got a nice chilly 400m swim in a lake, a 20km bike ride around the Cotswolds and then a 5km run around same lake as I'm going to swim in.
There are quite a few others racing and my wave starts at 8:20am. Hopefully I'll be crossing the finish line by quarter to ten.
I've got another three triathlons planned this year. Two in June, one at Blenheim Palace and the other at Bala in Wales. The last triathlon is the big one and is an ironman distance race in Nottingham. I'm really looking forward to all of them, the ironman with a little bit of trepidation.
Hopefully the weather will be slightly better than forecast, its certainly looking reasonable out there at the moment. Fingers crossed the weathermen have got it wrong.