Thursday, 27 May 2010

Two down, one and a bit to go

This is a bit of long post, please stick with it as its the most awesome thing that has happened to me in a while. I've literally been glowing and so relaxed since, I know because I've been told by someone.

I took today off work. I told the wife and son that I was working at one of the companies other offices and that it was short notice so I needed the use of our car.
I got up at 6am and had a coffee and bagel to keep me going. Before I had even had a chance to drink my coffee the wife got up and came downstairs saying that she couldn't sleep and was thirsty. She made herself a cup of tea and sat down in the lounge with me.
That first hour after getting up is my special time and so when anyone else gets up an intrudes on it I find myself getting annoyed. This morning was no different but it did give me that extra incentive to finish breakfast and the go wash, shave and get dressed.
It takes me slightly longer in mornings to finish with the bathroom as I've been using moisturiser on my face for a few weeks now. At the moment I'm using an Oil of Ulay day moisturiser which does seem to be helping my skin.
Having finished with the bathroom I went to get dressed. Phew, close call though. I'd planned to wear a pair of pink, satiny panties under my male clothes. I was just pulling them up my legs when I heard the wife coming up the stairs. A bit of frantic dressing and I managed to get my jeans on over the panties before she walked in to the bedroom. Top on, socks on and I was dressed and ready to face the outside world.
Shoes on, pick up wallet, keys and phone, throw laptop into a bag because I might need it (plus its an excuse to take an extra bag that I can use to put some bits and pieces in while shopping for some new clothes) and out the doors by 7:15.
The reason for taking today off work was so that I could drive up to Wales to see my parents and explain to them about my transitioning.
I've been dreading having to do this ever since the psychiatrist told me that I would have to tell my family about transitioning before she would see me again.
During the drive to my parents I rehearsed what I was going to say, thought about their possible reactions and then rehearsed some more.
Eventually I pulled up outside their house. I'd taken a folder with all the paperwork I've picked up about transitioning including one from MIND on Gender Dysphoria.
I rang the doorbell, then rang again, then once more to be sure. Typical, I'd driven all that way and they were out.
Back in the car and drive to the big out of town supermarket to park the car.
Phones parents on their mobile phone. No answer. Phone their home number. No answer.
Phone sister. No answer but able to leave a voice message asking her if she knew where they were.
My sister eventually got back to me to tell me that she thought that they might have gone to a doctors appointment that my father had.
Ok. Drive back to parents house to find that they still aren't there.
This time I drove to a different retail park, tried phoning them but still no reply. Since another part of today's business was to buy some new outfits I had a look in some of the clothes shops. Sadly nothing jumped out at me.
Wandered back to the car and rang parents home phone again. This time my dad answered. We chatted as he filled me in about my niece who is staying with them at the moment while her sister is in hospital. I'd already had the details from my sister earlier so there wasn't anything new for him to tell me.
Briefly spoke to my mum and told her I'd speak to her soon.
At last I know that they are home.
Off we go again to parents house.
Park car, go to door. Ring doorbell, no answer, knock on door, no answer. Oh come on, you can't have gone out again that quickly. One last loud know on the the door and my mum answers it.
She said hello to me and then did a double take as she realised it was me.
In we go and I'm all psyched up ready for this, carefully prepared speech at the ready.
Dads out. He's gone to the betting office.
I explained to my mum that I needed to speak to her and my dad together but that everyone is ok.
For the next half hour I got to drink a mug of coffee and play with my 18 month old niece who by now has calmed down after shedding tears because she didn't recognise me and doesn't like not knowing who people are at the moment.
Eventually my dad comes back and its time for me to tell them about me transitioning.
I open my mouth to give my prepared speech and my mind goes blank so I had to come up with an explanation on the spot.
I told them that I'd had a problem all my life and that I was finally doing something about it. I told them that I had gender dysphoria, which my mum looked blank at. I explained that I'd always hated being male and wanted to be female. I passed my mum the MIND booklet. Eventually she twigged and asked me if I wanted a sex change.
I was prepared for them to be shocked and not want me to do it.
I wasn't prepared for my mum to accept it. My dad sat there quietly as normal.
We talked about a lot of things after that. The key thing that my mum did say was that I should have told them before. In fact I should have told them before I got married.
She then turned to my dad and said, “oh well, we'll have two daughters rather than a son and daughter.” She then turned to me and said “well you wont be borrowing any of my clothes.”
I love my mum, even when I throw them something completely outside their experience she takes it in her stride.
She was getting emotional but gave me a hug.
Eventually I had to leave in order to start the journey home. Mum gave me a hug and when I went to give my niece a goodbye kiss my dad, who was holding her, gave me a hug.
A hug! My dad and I never give each other hugs. I've so wanted to give him a hug over the years but the macho men don't hug thing has always got in the way. Perhaps he's already thinking of me as a daughter and its acceptable to give daughters a hug. I hope so. I love my dad, just when I think I know him he surprises me.
They are taking my niece back to her parents this weekend, they are aware that she knows about my transitioning so I know what they will be talking about.

The last thing that happened before I left was that as its my parents wedding anniversary tomorrow mum reminded me and I wished them happy anniversary. I told them we hadn't sent a card because I can never remember when their anniversary is exactly. My dad said that he forgets!
Mum came over to me and said that what I'd told them was the best anniversary present I could have given them.

I am such a lucky girl to have the family I have.

Of course that wasn't all that happened today. Today has been the best day ever but I'm going to tell about the rest of the day in a couple more posts, including explaining the glowing bit I mentioned at the start.

1 comment:

  1. What a wonderful reaction by your parents. They seem like great people.
    I am not surprised you have a big grin.
    I am intrigued as to what the other good news is!