Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Questions

A while back I came across a website that posed a number of questions about the hows and whys of people's crossdressing. I thought I'd share my answers to the questions.

1. The first time, Why did you try on that dress, that girdle and stockings, that nightie, or those panties. You knew they weren't meant for a boy, or male! So, what made you pick them up in the first place? Did any particular item have a special meaning to you?

The first time I tried on a dress was as part of a dressing up game with my mum and gran when I was about 6 years of age. The second time I tried on a dress and panties was after I reached puberty. When I reached puberty I started to masturbate when in bed but my fantasies revolved about being a girl or woman and not a boy. The more I had these fantasies the more I got to the point that I wanted to act them out. In order to do this I had to have the house to myself so that there would be the opportunity to try on some of my mum's clothes. A brown pantie girdle was definitely part of the first outfit I wore. There was even a swimming costume in order to give me more of a curvy female figure and the cups of which were filled with balled up tights. Over the top of this I wore a floaty nightdress. I don't recall whether I wore tights or a bra with this outfit, I'm pretty sure that I didn't. The sensations I got from wearing the outfit and imagining that I was a woman ensured that I would dress many times over the years I lived at home.

2. Have you ever felt depressed by your dressing en femme? Was it because you felt like a pervert, like a weirdo, or that you could not be accepted for what you are? Other reasons involved? Do you feel different today?

I've felt depressed by my dressing en femme many times over the years. So depressed in fact that I have cleared out my wardrobe 2 or 3 times. I've also been depressed when buying clothes because I know that I shouldn't be spending money on things that I'm hardly going to wear and when I do it will be at home and nobody will see me. I've mainly felt depressed because I can't be accepted for who and what I am.
I still feel depressed that I can't really live out my life the way that I would like to but then that goes beyond just being able to dress and be who I am. There are so many things that I'm not able to do that make me depressed but then there are also so many things that I have the freedom to do which a lot of people aren't able to do.

3. If you were "forced," by whom – a friend, sister, mother or aunt, cousin? Did you want to, or did you feel you "had" to do it? (As this may be personal, think: were there pictures taken?) Was there a change in your relationship with the person who dressed you? For the better, or did it go the other way? Was there a change in you, in how you viewed yourself and others?

I've never been “forced” to dress. I would love to have been “forced” to dress though by Marion, a work colleague. She helped me to dress but never actually “forced” me to. We talked about me being her maid but weren't able to act out what was discussed. On the last occasion that she saw me dressed I so wanted her to come over and take me in her arms and kiss me, I wanted her to take charge and dominate me. I felt so weak and submissive that she could have done anything to me and I wouldn't have protested.

4. Have you found a change in demeanor when you are en femme? Has dressing en femme, or being forced to dress, made a significant change in manners, drab dress, obedience, and neatness? Are you better mannered, feel a need to be quieter. Is there a 'profound' change in your outlook on life, things in general? Are you "really" happier when dressed, and is there a way you can put it in words.

Yes. I am naturally quiet and continue to be so when en femme. However, I've been told that when en femme I become more graceful. There hasn't been a realy change in my manners or drab dress because of time spent en femme. I have had my ears pierced, grown my hair longer, grown my fingernails and also had my entire body waxed over the ears, which is down to time en femme. I have also found that when en femme I do feel that I am more the person I should have been and not the male that I have ended up being.

5. Do you feel that you are a "Sissy" because you "enjoy" wearing the clothes of the "opposite sex," or are there other feelings aroused in you. Do you feel that the word "Sissy" is appropriate to what you are? Do you feel inferior to females because you are not really one, or are there other factors involved.

I don't feel I am a “Sissy” because I enjoy wearing female clothes. I feel that I am a “Sissy” because I get aroused by images of females, she-males and males submitting to superior males and females and servicing them in whichever ways they wish. I find myself fascinated and aroused by images of submissives sucking on a man's cock. Often I wish I was the one in the picture doing the sucking. I feel the word “Sissy” is appropriate to what I am because I am submissive by nature, I am envious of the women I work with because they get to wear lovely outfits to work, I am also inferior to a number of the women that I work with because they are stronger and appear more dominant than I could ever be. Barb is a strong, divorced woman who is capable of looking after herself, Pat has a figure that just oozes dominance and I find myself jealous of the outfits that she wears sometimes even though they aren't necessarily the type of thing that a woman my age would wear. Julie just oozes femininity, a strong dominant personaility, professionalism and self sufficiency. If I had to submit to one woman it would definitely be Julie. I would happily give up work and become her Sissy maid and dress and act in any way that she dictated.

6. Is there a change in the music you like? Do you prefer Classical music when dressed, and Rock or R and B in Drab? Does the music affect you differently in drag and drab? Do you have a change of sports watching: Mia Hamm and Brandi Chastein vs. whoever is Dallas' quarter back. Do you even watch sports?

No change in my musical or sporting tastes when in drag or drab. I prefer watching athletics, swimming and rugby. I've never been a big fan of soccer or motorsports. My musical tastes cover everything from classical through jazz to pop music.

7. If you are married, or have an S/O, what is your "en femme" relationship, if any changes, to her? Are you a girlfriend, a Lesbian lover, a maid, or are you a guest just visiting?

I no longer have a “en femme” relationship with my wife. I used to but don't any more.

8. Do you have a different hobby that you engage in, other than CD or sex, when you are dressed? Do you feel a need to dress to do certain things, like shop for food, for one example? Are the things you engage in those considered masculine (hunting, fishing, sports), fairly divided, or feminine (Doll collecting, Antiques [charming teapots, pretty saucers], ballet/classical music).

No change in hobbies and the things I'm involved in tend to be unisex. I enjoy reading and watching science fiction and fantasy movies and TV programmes. I like running and also swimming. Just getting into cycling too as I've taken up triathlon.

9. How do you feel -- a woman in a man's body, a soft and gentle male that doesn't fit the masculine stereotype, a need to express a different side of your personality, or you were born the wrong gender? Or, do you feel that when you are dressed en femme, you can make out with a man, because you 'are' a female in a way?

I definitely feel like I would be happier living my life as a woman. I know that if the situation was right then while dressed en femme it would be possible for me to make out with a man. I've had several men who were interested in taking an online friendship to that level. As of yet I have never actually done that though.

10. When you read a story or watch a movie on tv, does your preference change depending on how you are dressed, or doesn't it matter? Going deep down, are you affected by the story line depending on how you are dressed?

No change. I enjoy watching the same movies and reading the same stories. I don't believe that a storyline affects me more whether I am in drag or drab.


11. Do you work in a man's man job -- High wire electrician, fireman, policeman. A neutral job – clerk, bank teller, doctor, barber. Or, a feminine one – secretary, hairdresser, nurse. If you had the skill but were required to still wear a male uniform, would you take a feminine job (of course, that's a belief in a job that is still considered mostly female).

I work in a unisex job in software engineering. If I had the skills and had to wear a male uniform then I would still take a feminine job. Probably fairly readily.

12. In a general way, what is your relationship to women in general? Do you view them as lovers, superiors, as dome/mistresses, or do you just LOVE everything about them? Considering the "way" you dress, is it in honour of them – perfect coif and make-up, a nice-fitting dress or blouse-and-skirt; or a mocking of them – slutty make-up, whorish, extremely short skirt, overly high heels?

I view women as friends, lovers and also superiors. I try to honour women by dressing in a natural way whenever I can. However, in certain situations, just like any woman I can also dress to look whorish.

13. Do you control your weight to fit into a size 16, 18 or smaller, or do you use a corset or girdle (do they still make those corselettes?) to fit? Would you consider a weight loss program if suggested, as a 'health benefit,' by an S/O or mistress/wife – to fit in her clothes?

I don't control my weight to fit into specific dress sizes. I do use corsets, girdles and corselettes. I try to control my weight so that I am fitter in general whether drag or drab.

14. When dressed, would you even consider a romantic date with a good-looking guy, or, would there be absolutely no chance of that happening! In fantasy, would you read about a date – and all that goes with it?

Yes I would consider a romantic date with a guy. In fantasy I definitely read about dates and all that goes with them, as a result of which I often find myself getting aroused and wishing it was me that was being described.

15. On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the highest), where would you be malewise; femalewise, or do you feel it's a 5/5 split?

3 male / 7 female

16. Almost last one: Given a choice, would you prefer black, red, white or pink in underwear – male and/or female?

Black or white female lingerie if given a choice but it would have to be appropriate to the outfit I was wearing.


17. Last: Do you think that what you are is a means to maintaining your sanity? That is, dressing in femme things is a way to reduce stress, relax, and otherwise not be the "macho" persona/boss your world situation may require.

Yes dressing is a way of maintaining my sanity, its also a way to reduce stress and relax. Dressing en femme is also a way to escape from the image that I present to the world day in, day out and to actually be who I really am, even if it is only for a short time.

When I remeber where I found these I'll link to the website.

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