sissygurl belinda responded to my last post and initially I was going to simply respond to her comment but instead I decided to post instead.
What we do is a compulsion! My telling Marina that I would agree to stop dressing was the most stupid thing I have ever done. I should have simply walked away from the relationship then and there it would have been a lot easier and less painful.
After we split I vowed that I would never ever promise another woman that I would stop dressing. I would never ever let another woman hurt me like she did and make me cry. I have kept the first part of that vow but the second part, well my wife managed to do that.
If you do split up though then let it be on friendly terms. Life is to short to be angry with each other. Get over it and move on.
When Marina and I separated it was painful but we were at least able to be civil on the last occasion that we saw each other.
The other thing I would suggest is to not take it out on your friends.
After we split up my friends told me that they never thought that Marina and I were right for each other. My so called friends tell me that after I split up. Might have been nice to say something before. Ok, breathe deeply, I can deal with that.
What isn't a good idea is allowing friends to drag me out to the pub for a drink! Even worse is when they drag along one of our female friends Marion, who I haboured a secret longing for. Ok, I can get through this, its only an evening. What is the worst that could happen?
Several hours later.
I'd had a few too many drinks. Marion is still sitting there, she looks attractive. I'm chatting her up, I'm trying to touch her. Oh my God. What am I doing? She's getting up, telling me its ok, she's leaving. My friends tell me that I've behaved like and idiot. Don't I know it!
Friends are brilliant, they forgive us being completely and utterly stupid. They let us get away with things when we are drunk.
I so hope that I never get in the position where I do that again. Real friends are so valuable as I've learned today, once again. Real friends put up with us being stupid, not talking to them for ages and will listen when we tell them out secrets.
Marion was a true friend, especially when a few weeks later she found out that I was a sissy and enjoy dressing up in feminine things. She helped me to go shopping and provide me with a place to change.
I am so glad that I have some really special friends who I wouldn't trade for the world.
Marina and I were good while we were together but my need to be Jenny was far too strong. Even though it hurt so much towards the end and it really was for the best that I walked away I will always be grateful to her for one thing.
If it wasn't for her reaction and us splitting up I wouldn't have had the nerve to look through the personal ads in the local paper and find a transsexual escort who I went to visit a couple of times. I also wouldn't have had the nerve to go to London to Transformation and experience one of their Changeaways, which led to me glowing on my return as I had finally released Jenny. It wouldn't have led to me telling Marion and to everything that has followed.
Anyway, that is my rambling for today. Next post I'll share telling my other half about Jenny.