Friday, 22 January 2010

Confessing about Jenny

When I knew Marion I worked as a computer programmer. Still do but with less of the programming and more of breaking other people's software.

Back then we didn't have personal computers to develop software on but used a mainframe computer and then tested it on the system that it would be delivered on.

Even so we still had an email system that allowed us to communicate around the team.

Due to the fact that we had to test the software on the final system from time to time people would be required to work late.

About 6 weeks after I had been to London to Transformation Marion and I were sending each other some messages. I had heard a rumour that she had started dating an older guy on the team. Being a nosey person I started subtly, or maybe not so subtly, asking her about it.

Marion was very coy with her answers and I found it difficult to get out of her what I wanted to know. Throughout the afternoon I sent her messages trying to get her to own up. Nothing she wouldn't give a thing away.

As I was trying to think of some means of getting her to talk I suddenly realised that there might be a way.

“If you answer my question I'll tell you a secret about me” I sent to her.

Now it was her turn to be intrigued. Batting away her questions this time we agreed that we would both work late and that when we were alone I would tell her if she told me.

About 6pm that evening we were both sitting at computers working away when she sent me a message asking me to tell her my secret.

Before I would answer her I asked her if she was going out with someone and named the guy in question. She replied telling me she was. I could have happily walked away at that moment but I knew that she would have wrestled me to floor before I'd got half way across the room and would have forced my secret out of me. Ok perhaps not but if I thought she would have actually done that then I'd have certainly gone for it.

I took a deep breath and sent “have you ever heard of Transformation?”

Marion replied that she hadn't. Oh boy, not only was I going to have to confess to dressing as a woman but I couldn't even do it by refering to something and let her work it out.

You remember I went up to London a few weeks ago” I typed, “well I went into a place called Transformation, they do Changeaways where they transform males into females. Marion, I enjoy dressing up as a woman.”

Her reaction wasn't at all what I was expecting. I was hoping for a positive reaction but was prepared to accept an “that's fine, I'm ok with it but lets not discuss it again.”

Nope, Marion's reaction was to tell me that she had known that something had happened to me because for the last six weeks I had been walking around glowing. I hadn't realised that it was so obvious. She then informed me that she hadn't expect me to tell her that but had actually been expecting me to tell her that I was gay.

Me? Gay? The thought had never crossed my mind, ok I'd never been very good with the girls but I'd certainly never considered boys. Ok being the sissy gurl I am now men are definitely something that are on my radar.

Shyly, I logged off my computer and turned to her. “What do we do now?” I asked.

I think we should talk more” she answered.

Fifteen minutes later Marion and I left work and drove to the house I was sharing with some people from work. Up in my room we say down and I told her about how I'd started to dress up when I was a teenager, how I'd always had this desire to be a girl throughout school. We talked about my visit to the escort and to London and then I got out everything that I had bought while I was there to show her.

As we looked at everything she turned to me and asked if I wanted her help. I was stunned, help in what way?

Marion offered to let me come around to her place so that I could dress, she told me that I needed to go shopping for lingerie, some clothes, jewellery, shoes, pretty much everything that a girl needs to really be herself.

I struggled to get my head around all this, here she was within an hour of my confession offering to help me with this. All I could do was nod my head and tell her yes please.

Marion had to leave at that point but she told me to book some time off work for the following Wednesday. When I asked why she told me that she was going to take me shopping in Southampton.

Oh, wow, shopping for female things with a real girl. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that I'd actually do something like that. Then again I never imagined that I would end up telling a work colleague and getting such a positive reaction.

Mind you that wasn't the last colleague I told, to my knowledge there are four others, in addition to Marion, that know about me. Two of them male colleagues (one I shared a house with) and one female (she wasn't as receptive and we never mentioned it again) from back then. The other is a female colleague who I've told more recently.

If you'd like to hear more about my shopping trip with Marion, or any of the other times that she helped me, or even about anything else I've mentioned in this post then write a comment and I'll do my best to answer. 

I must admit the last couple have posts have taken this blog in a direction that I didn't expect when I started writing it. I didn't expect to be sharing some of my past experiences but hey, if it takes on a life of its own and goes in a different direction then who am I to argue!


  1. So help me to understand jenny - you were sitting in close proximity to Marion but your revelation was made via e-mail - is that correct?

    I think I would like to read about your first shopping trip with Marion. I'm curious about whether having Her with you, made a difference in how you shopped and what you shopped for...

    I know of a few women who make it clear they don't approve of men dressing in woman's clothes, but if the subject does come up - particularly if we see a gurl out in public, they always talk about what the gurl is wearing. It usually seems like what they actually disapprove of is the gurl's choice of fashion and not that she is dressed up. I usually say something to them like - "I'm sure you would have her looking quite appropriate if you were in charge of her dressing." And they almost always agree. Isn't that interesting?

    I may have to write an entry in My blog about this...

    Miss D

  2. Miss D,

    This was about 15 years ago when I worked in an open plan office so most of the initial chat was done by email because it was impossible to have a private conversation without anyone overhearing. When we actually got to telling each other secrets then it simply carried on in the same way. I think we were both trying to avoid any chance of looking guilty if somebody came into the room.

    I'll try and address the points you raised when in my next post.