Monday, 1 November 2010

Another coming out

The last couple of weeks have been simply one thing after another.

A couple of days after seeing Dr Brooks again I went to see one of the vicars, D, at the church I attend and his wife, B. Earlier this year I had dropped out of a number of groups that I'd been involved in. One of the reasons for this was a course I'd been doing which had made me think about who I really am and who others see me as. Dealing with this made me bring forward my plans to transition from the end of this year to the beginning.
When I'd dropped out of leading Sunday school I hadn't told D and B the actual reason why I was doing so.

The other evening was my chance to explain. With S there I sat down and after a bit of general chat got down to the reason for the visit. Amazingly I actually found that I couldn't speak, the words wouldn't come out. S had to step in and explain things.

Once S had told D and B what had been going on I found that I could tell them about things and we were able to discuss everything.

Well the conversation pretty much went the way that you would expect. D and B didn't really have any experience of transsexuality and so asked questions. I did my best to answer them.

While we were chatting I noticed that B has a sad look on her face a few times. I've not had a chance to talk to her properly since. Hopefully I'll have the chance to do so soon.

At least they now both know what is happening and why I dropped out of things.

The interesting thing though was last week we had an All Age Service at church which B led. The theme of the talk was "the masks we wear". B talked about the different masks that we wear and even mentioned the material from the course that prompted me to take action earlier in the year. I'm sure that it was a coincidence. It did feel that the talk was aimed at me. I'm sure that others felt exactly the same though.

I bet that we wont be talking about that talk at group this week. I'm sure that S will be steering clear of the subject to avoid any sticky moments.

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