Friday, 18 April 2014

I hate people like you!

For the first time since I transitioned someone told me that they hate people like me. It was a bit of a shock to hear that from someone I'd only said hello to.

We've been staying in hospital this week. Well my other half and son have, I've been at home for two of the days and went to collect them today when he was discharged.

There are a number of children on the ward that we've been on and as you do when you are in an environment like that you get talking to the other parents. My other half got talking with the parent of the young girl that was in the room opposite us.

This morning when I got there she told me that the two of them had been chatting over a cup of tea in the parent's room and my other half had told the other mum about me. She'd done it because she didn't want them wondering why my son's dad wasn't visiting but another woman was.

Shortly after I'd arrived I needed to use the loo and so popped around to the changing area where they are located. The ward we were on used to be, and still is, the Bone Marrow Transplant unit and for those people visiting someone that has had a transplant there is a need to change out of street clothing and put on a set of scrubs.

As I was making my way back to my son's room I passed this mum as she was helping her son to get changed and ready to visit his sister. We said hello and as I got closer she stood up and said that she wanted to say something. Explaining that my other half had told her about me earlier she then said "I hate people like you." I was stunned, it was the last thing I expected anyone to say to me.

Before I could say anything she carried on "You look more feminine than me. If I hadn't been told I'd never have guessed."

At a loss for words all I could say was "Thank you." Eventually I managed to say in response to her comment about her appearance "I'd kill for hair like yours". I would as well, her hair was a shade of red that I would love to be able to carry off.

After we'd finished chatting I returned to my son's room and told him I was going to kill his mum when she returned for outing me like that and then not telling me she'd done it.


  1. I could think of better ways to be given a compliment, that is for certain. lol On the other hand, she quite clearly sees what it obvious, hon. :D

    Hope all is well with you and yours, sweetie!


  2. Hi Cass,
    I agree there were better ways to give the compliment but considering I thought she very feminine and attractive even with what she was wearing and the state of her hair (which she thought was a mess) I'm happy with what I got.

    I did mention it to my other half after and pointed out to her that the compliment could be taken in other ways. I also pointed out to her that she really shouldn't out me like she did because, as was shown by this, people don't take me for anything female.

    Of course other than the fact that she felt she could trust this other mum it might be that she was getting her revenge for the other day when someone popped into the room to introduce themselves to us and turned to me and asked if I was mum. :-)

    The news we got from the hospital was what we were expecting, it wasn't what we were hoping for but then it also wasn't the worst it could have been. I'll be doing an update at some point over the weekend when I've had a chance to think about what to write.


  3. Hi Jenna,

    I'm sending healing thoughts right now to your entire family.

    That's an excellent point you made; people see you for who you are; there's no need to out you.

    I've only been full-time for a few months, which may explain why I still get surprised when people take me as female. (See my most recent post about my bank visit.)

    It's odd; I long accepted that I was a girl, and am thrilled to death to be myself at long last. But I guess I haven't quite accepted that other people seem to take me a girl as well. The brain is a strange thing at times.

    Anyway, I am thinking of all of you hon. Be well!


    1. Thanks for the healing thoughts Cass.

      I think that as much as she's making progress with things she has this need sometimes to explain to people because she thinks that they will wonder about us. I'm not sure whether subconsciously she thinks people will think we're in a lesbian relationship and I know that homosexuality is, as much as she has known some gay women in the past, something that can cause strong emotions in her.

      I admit that sometimes it surprises me when someone who does know turns around, like this young mum did, and says that she would never have guessed. Even though its happened several times now.

      Thanks for thinking about us.