Psychiatrist visit

I've had my appointment with the psychiatrist in Taunton so I thought I'd just share a little bit of what happened.

Having eventually found the place, SatNavs aren't all their cracked up to be sometimes. Suppose its the "garbage in garbage out" principal but after ending up at the train station with about half an hour to spare, because that's where the one road took me, I eventually managed to get the correct place 5 minutes drive away.

A tour of almost every building on the site finally got me, via 3 receptionists, to the right place.

Doctor Brook is very nice. She asked me questions and took notes for the best part of an hour. It went into a lot more detail than my assessment and some of the questions were a lot more personal. For instance was I heterosexual, did I like women or men, did I think that my sexual orientation might change after treatment.

The upshot of it is that she isn't going to refer me on to the gender identity clinic in Newton Abbot just yet. In order for her to do so I have to complete "Step 1" and then make an appointment to see her when I've done that.

"Step 1" is basically that I have to tell my family about what I am doing. By family that means wife, son, sister and my parents. Obviously that is not going to be something that I can do easily because it can only be done face to face. My parents are actually down next week and so it would be a good time to tell them but I need to be able to do this in a nice calm way, doing it with the wife around isn't going to be anything like that. Same with my sister, she's got a fair bit on her plate at the moment with one of her twins not being well so I have to wait until they are home from hospital and she's a bit more with it then manage to meet up with her.

Really I'm going to have to find time and space over the next couple of weeks, because I don't want to leave it hanging for too long, to work out the best way to talk to them all and then to find the opportunities to actually have the conversations.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little bit down after the experience.

However, there was one interesting thing that came up which I wasn't prepared for. Dr Brook asked about whether I wanted surgical procedures. I thought it was a trick question as caught myself thinking that if I said no then it was end of the road and she'd show me the door, so to speak. In fact what she explained to me was that not all of the women that are referred to the GIC actually have some of the surgical procedures. From what I've heard from elsewhere some don't because they find it too risky. I don't know if that is true. I certainly didn't realise that you could go so far with gender reassignment and then stop short of the final operation. In answer to the question I was posed I said that I think I'd have all the procedures. That might not be the case, only time and the effects of hormones and the rest of the treatment will be able to determine that. I'd like to be as fully functional a woman as I possible though.

Busy week ahead

Next week is going to be a busy one for me.
On Monday I've got an appointment at the salon with Zee for a full body wax, eyebrow wax and also an eyelash tint. I'm going to think black or brown tint and not blue as Lou, the hairdresser, suggested when I told her about the eyelash tint.

Late Wednesday morning I have my appointment to see the consulatant psychiatrist that I've been referred to as the next step in my transitioning. Wednesday afternoon I'm going to have to broach the subject of seeing a psychiatrist with my wife. I've got an idea of how I'm going to do that but not sure yet exactly how much I'm going to tell her about my plans. I guess that will depend on what happens with the psychiatrist.

At 9am on Thursday I have an appointment with Patricia, from the personnel department at work. Over the last few weeks I've bumped into her a couple of times and she is always asking how I am. It dawned on my the other day that its probably because of Jan telling her that I was going through some things and would be coming to chat to her at some point. When I bumped into her earlier in the week and we were chatting she mentioned that, as she is on a temporary contract, she will be finishing in three weeks time. Since by Wednesday I'll have a better idea of what is happening I emailed her and asked if we could have a chat. She came back with the 9am slot on Thursday.

I suspect that even though I haven't got anything planned as yet the end of the week is going to be just as busy because there are other people I have to talk to in order to let them know how Wednesday goes.

Interesting times ahead.

twiddling my thumbs

Well I've had the second part of my assessment.

It actually took a lot less time than the first assessment. All of 5 minutes in fact. Dawn, the nurse, apologised for dragging me back for such a short appointment and told me that I was being referred to a GIC in Newton Abbot and also to a consultant psychiatrist in Taunton. I can't fault the decision. I'm making progress at last.

Dawn asked me if I'd mentioned what I was doing to my wife. I'd been waiting for this second assessment so I hadn't. When Dawn asked me when I planned to, I told her that I'd wait until I'd seen the doctor in Taunton. She wasn't surprised by this.

The best thing that came out of the discussion was that she told me that I didn't have any mental health problems.

Unfortunately she didn't put that in writing. I've a colleague at work who has had it confirmed in writing that he is sane. Not sure about the fact that the confirmation was in crayon though. Note to self, make sure any confirmations of sanity are in pen.

Interestingly, or not, my sanity jokingly came up in conversation the same evening and I lightheartedly said that I'd had it confirmed be people who should know that I was sane. I managed to avoid having to explain myself.

Today I had a letter in the post with my appointment with the psychiatrist. 21st April. 3 weeks time. I expect between now and then I'm going to get very nervous and impatient.

I was hoping to be able to book to get my hair done the day of the appointment. I doubt that will be possible as it will take just over an hour to get from the hairdressers to Taunton and I reckon that it will might take the best part of an hour for me to get my hair washed, cut and blow dryed. Maybe just maybe I'll make an appointment to get my hair done earlier in the week and also book for a bodywax, eyebrow pluck and eyelash tint at the salon.