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Tuesday 14 May 2019

Sometimes you just need the right words

I'm sitting on the bed writing this post. I'd been starting to write another post about over-functioning because it's something I needed to work through so I don't forget about it before my next counselling session.

I've been keeping several journals, some with daily prompts, one free-form. At the same time I've been reading Paulo Coelho's Manual of the Warrior of Light, I'm reading one entry each day, like a daily meditation prompt.

Writing my over-functioning post I was contemplating phoning in to work and taking the day off, finishing that post and then working on some of the exercises for my photography course. Something made me pick up the Manual and read the next entry.

"When a warrior is the victim of some injustice, he usually tries to be alone, in order not to show his pain to others."

The more in-depth text included:

"It is one thing to allow one's heart to heal its wounds slowly, but it is quite another to sit all day in deep contemplation for fear of seeming weak."

This is exactly what I was on the verge of doing. Sitting down all day, ostensibly to do course work, but in reality avoiding work because I'm struggling with some aspects of it.

Those aspects of the job aren't going to go away because I hide away for a day. They'll still be there tomorrow when I go back in to the office.

Rather than run away from things for a day or two I need to face them, deal with them and put them behind me.

The timing of reading today's entry was fortuitous because if I'd left it until later in the day I wouldn't have been able to do anything about it, just reflect on the fact that I'd done something that, most likely, wasn't in my best interests.

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