Over-functioning

"Over-functioning: I won't feel, I will do. I don't need help, I help."

I've been reading Brene Brown's Rising Strong. I've read The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly. This is the next one in the suggested reading order. The quote above is on page 171 and when I read it, I immediately thought to myself "that's me. That is how I handle things."

Over-functioners are often the oldest child, and that is the case in my situation.

For the last 20 years I've been pushing feelings to one side in order that Rhys and Tracey got the support they needed. I've done my best to keep my feelings hidden rather than show them.

I've let other people's behaviour and attitudes wash over me.

Instead I've thrown myself into doing things, like running and triathlons. I've driven to and from Bristol whenever Rhys needed treatment. I've skipped trips away because I needed to be at the hospital with him when he's been ill.

Accepting help is something that I've also found difficult to do, even help from friends. I've spent so much of my life being independent, doing things for myself, providing for myself, that it's hard to turn around to people and say "I need help". I'm not the one who asks for help, I'm the one who helps. Even when I have things going on that mean I shouldn't be able to help others.

Over-functioning. That's definitely me.

Rising Strong - Brene Brown (Published 2015, Vermillion, ISBN 978-0-09195-503-8)