Monday, 11 May 2015

One more day

Its 6am, Monday, 11th May 2015. I've just to nipped upstairs to give my son a Ranitidine tablet before he has to have a feed through the NG tube he's currently having to put in every night.

In the hallway sits my case. I've packed and repacked it, checked and rechecked to make sure that I've got everything I need for the next 8 days. All my electronic gadgets are fully charged and just need putting in the case of my handbag.

I've got a couple of last minute things to do, a trip to the dump to get rid of a couple of bits of rubbish from the garden which will leave us able to sit outside and enjoy the now, very much tidier, garden during the summer. Rather than lots of empty containers and plant pots sitting around we have a much tidier area with a lawn that just needs to be cut regularly and a border that needs weedkiller applying to it this year in preparation for sorting it out next year so that it is the way that we want it. There's just one thing that I need to get for it and that's a huge garden parasol affair that I've seen in our local Homebase.

Once I've been to the dump I need to get to my GPs for when they open so I can ask them to print off my blood results from the other day. I did that on Friday. Yes, I know it was very last minute but I was so busy last week that I completely forgot about the results until the middle of the afternoon and when I rang them, although the results are all fine, they would send them to Brighton. When I opened the results in the evening, after getting my other half to pick them up I found that the results that had been printed off were from August 2014 and of no use to me. So into the doctors it is this morning to get the right test results.

9:41am this morning I'll then get on the train to Brighton and begin my last journey as the person I've been since January 2012, when I return I'll be a different person.

Friday was interesting.  I ended up working until 5pm, far later than I've worked on a Friday for a long time. Being off work I needed to leave everything in as complete a state as I could. I'd also gotten into work late because I'd been to see one of my closest and dearest friends.

5pm came and I finished work. By that time my other half had gone to work herself so I had to walk home. As I left the building I found myself thinking back to December 2011 and the day everyone found out for definite that I was transitioning. That time I walked out of the building as him. Less than a month later I walked back into the building as her, a person who outwardly appeared female but who still had a male anatomy, had a predominantly male hormone driven body and who was very inexperienced in what it was like being a woman 24/7.

Last Friday I again walked out of the building, this time it was as her. Although the body still has some male anatomy there is now a mixture as some female anatomy has developed. The body is now controlled by female hormones more than male ones and she has a lot more experience of being a woman 24/7. She's also so much more confident in herself and isn't worried about things that would have been scary back then. She's got a lot more friends and sees a future where she finally gets to do the things that she's wanted to for so long, even before that December.

When I finally return to work in a few months time it will be as a different person again, the third one that has walked through those doors. This time though it will be as a person with the body that matches her mind and spirit.

That day is going to be Perfect.


  1. Hi Jenna

    Your journey to become complete is almost over.

    How is your wife taking it?

    I wish that you had someone with you to help and support you through the op.

    Love Kim x

  2. Hi Kim,
    I think that she's finally realising that its happening and that things are going to be different.

    I might not have anyone here but I've got lots of support online which is really good.

    Love Jenna x