Last year we inherited a Freesat satellite TV box from my late father-in-law. We had it installed in our bedroom because for ages all we've been able to watch in there is programmes that we'd recorded on our Sky box. No matter what we'd tried we just couldn't get a reasonable television signal in there.
The guy that installed it changed the connector box on the satellite and while we were chatting to him told us that if we wanted additional boxes fitted then he would be able to do that.
At Christmas we bought a new box to put in the kitchen last week rang up and arranged to have it connected up.
This afternoon the guy that owns the firm arrived. He was a lovely chap, very friendly and joked with us as he did the work. At one point he commented on my hair colour and I told him I wanted it redder, he asked how red so I told him.
As he was finishing up he turned to me and asked me my name. "Jenna" I replied.
"What as your old name? Hope you don't mind me asking" he continued.
"What on Earth!" I thought. Then the penny clicked, he'd figured that I was transsexual.
"B..." I replied telling my old name.
"Have you always known that you were like this" he asked. "You don't have to answer."
"I've known most of my life, I transitioned 3 years ago" I replied.
The conversation carried on with him explaining that he'd done things that he wanted to distance himself from and that people should be happy to be them.
I was a bit annoyed as I'm so used to living as a woman 24/7 that I don't think about people figuring out that I'm a transsexual female. I certainly don't expect someone that I've asked into my home to do a job to ask such a personal question. I suppose my guard was down somewhat by being in my own home. That and the fact that I think I've reached the point where I know who I am and accept that and am not ashamed off it.
Maybe at some point after I've had my surgery I'll feel different and want to disappear and go stealth. I actually hope that I don't reach that point because I have this feeling that the universe wants me to be visible to others regardless of their gender.
I'm sorry you felt this way about this. I go through my life assuming everyone has worked out I am a trans-woman. I don't go out of my way to display this and I no longer "out" myself like I used to. I suppose I am protecting myself from the disappointment of being read.
ReplyDeleteI do however take exception to being asked my old name, probably more than being asked if I've had surgery. People get told straight they should never ask this question (or the surgery one!).
It does however sound like he was an understanding person, possibly with a good streak of empathy. This seems to be increasing with people I encounter and possibly society is warming towards us.
Lucy x
Hi Lucy,
ReplyDeleteHe did have a good streak of empathy. As he was leaving I asked where he was from because of his accent and he said London so I expect that he's used to meeting people that are are lot more different or strange that someone who is transsexual. I think he might have even mentioned that he'd known a few transsexuals in the past.
I honestly don't know why I even answered the question about my name but for some reason I did.
I think your right, and certainly in this country, I think that people are getting more used to us and the number of people that are bigoted towards us is slowly declining.