"You've moved from the outside to the inside then?" he asked
"No, this is just the bits that I couldn't bring over last weekend" I replied.
"Its cold today, we start at 7:30 and it was freezing this morning" he continued.
"I know, its not as cold as it was yesterday morning, my car was starting to freeze up before I'd even got out of the street" I replied.
"Where do you work?" he asked.
"OMG," I thought "he's going to talk to me again. Does he realise just how good looking he is? I like that ring he's wearing, oh look no wedding ring so he's not married."
As I sat waiting to go into the recycling centre I found myself in conversation with one of the guys that work there. A really handsome guy.
A few weeks ago I spent two weekends going to and from the centre taking broken fence panels, all of the plants and bushes that we had to dig up in order to allow the fence panels to be replaced, some bikes, a wheel barrow and various other bits and pieces.
Of course loading and unloading the car has been dirty, sweaty work and so I've not bothered putting on any make-up, had my hair pulled back and even worn a baseball cap or Buff.
Both weekends I've been approached by the same guy and we've had short chats. Both weekends I've found myself thinking that perhaps I should have made a little bit of effort with my appearance and put on a bit of make-up. Maybe I'd have been able to flirt with him a bit, maybe not, I am married after all.
Some time ago a friend and I were sat having a coffee when she asked me about my sexuality. As we talked she turned to me and said "Do you know I think your bisexual."
Thinking about it I realised that she was right, its just that in my efforts to be seen as a male I'd suppressed that side of me. Now finally being myself I could actually allow myself a bit more freedom with who I found attractive.
Another conversation that I had which raised the subject of who I might find myself attracted to was a bit more black and white in how it was seen. Pre-transition I was a heterosexual male, post-transition and surgery I would either be attracted to females meaning that I was a lesbian or to males which would make me a heterosexual female. I nodded along to the conversation and simply said I didn't know who I would be attracted to. If I had that same conversation now then my response would be both men and women, something certain to stir things up a bit as the person asking the question was wife of the vicar at the church we went to.
I know that there are people whose sexual orientation stays the same throughout transition and beyond, I also know that there are people whose orientation switches. I think in my case its just coming round to what it's always been. I'll be glad when it settles down though as I've even found myself thinking some of the guys I work with are good looking. Now that really is somewhere I don't want to go!
Oh, and with regards to cute recycling guy, I had to go to the center a week ago with some bits and pieces, this time I had make-up on. The place was busy. Cute guy was there but a short distance away. I needed to know where to put one of the items I'd taken so I caught his attention, this time I got a couple of words shouted across telling me which skip to put it in and that was that. OK, we were about 20 yards apart so he probably didn't recognise me, at least that's I hope that's the case.