I'm still feeling a bit down at the moment.
I think a few things have come together at the wrong time for me and its hit me harder than I expected.
At work I'm involved in a project that I have wanted to do since I first heard about it. That's the good news. However, it does mean that I also have to do some other things, that I don't mind doing, but which for some reason have knocked me somewhat.
I'm doing a task which is fairly repetitive, not exactly challenging. I queried one aspect of the task and got told what to do. I quite happily got on with the task and completed the initial work and explained what I'd done. At that point I found out that I'd misunderstood the bit I'd queried and have had to spend an afternoon redoing some of the work. Of course it's going to look great that I'm having to redo a lot of work that I'd completed and checked into our configuration management tool.
On top of that some work that I'd done on the project I wanted to work on is raising some queries. Some of them are good because its correcting things that I knew but which it seems have changed. Other things are simply depressing me because this year I've been ever so careful to document what I'm doing but it still seems like I'm making mistakes and not having all the information to hand that people want.
At home things are a bit stressful because I've got 3 birthdays that happen in July. On top of that I've had to sort out my son going away for a weekend in September and the family are disappearing for almost two weeks over the next 4 weeks. The break will be nice but the bashing that my finances are taking at the moment is not helping. I also seemed to be struggling to find the energy to go and do some exercise.
And finally, a friend introduced me to a guy that she knows a little while back. We've met twice now. He's single and isn't looking for a relationship at the moment. Last week we met up for lunch and spent the afternoon enjoying the sunshine and chatting. For some reason whenever I think about him I get a tingle. He's charming, funny, intelligent, good looking and I think very fit. I know I'm married and shouldn't be like this but I'm smitten with the guy. I've asked someone to find out what he thinks about me but from recent conversations I'm coming to the conclusion that he's not interested in me as anything but a friend.
So things are not going well at the moment. I'm very much aware of the little dark figure that hovers in the background whispering to me that there is a way out of things. I've listened to them before but I've grown a lot stronger and able to resist those thoughts.
I'm feeling a bit down but I will bounce back. There are things that I can't really do much about at the moment but there are also things that I can do something about. Its time for me to pick myself up, dust myself down and focus on the things that I can do something about.
Next time I'll aim for a more upbeat post. Promise.