Review of 2010 - part 3

August

This was the best month of the year and also the most frightening.

August was the month that I went to Portsmouth to Sugar and Spiced and met Jo for the first time. It was also the first time I went out in public as Jenny for ages and the first time really that I have been out anywhere that I knew I would come into contact with other people outside of a safe environment. I achieved this by having an outdoor photo shoot with Jo in a cemetery and also driving back home via Lou's salon where I got my hair done. August was also the first time that anyone who knows me in my everyday life and who I'm likely to meet up with again has ever met Jenny in the flesh.

Towards the latter end of the month I finally sat down with my wife and explained my plans to change my gender. She was quite calm about things and we were able to come to an agreement on what we were going to do, I was going to discuss delaying things with the psychiatrist and work out what my possible treatment options were while everything was on hold. She was going to wait until I'd seen the psychiatrist and then talk to her mother.

August was also the month where I got so low that I came very close to committing suicide. I had enough painkillers to do the job but it was only because of being able to talk to a friend and hand over the tablets for her to get rid of that I didn't actually take my own life.

Oh, August was also the month that my sister told me how she really feels about my transitioning.

September

Really quite month. Spent a large part of it ill and so had to miss my second appointment with the psychiatrist.

I did manage to make it to an appointment with the person who I think is probably the biggest part of my support network and that's Lou. She's listened to my rantings and been so helpful all year that I don't know how I'd have managed.