Last weekend was one of the hardest I've had to endure for a long time.
Two and a half years ago I went full time. One month before I started living as a woman 24/7 my father-in-law was taken into hospital and operated on to remove a cancerous tumour.
Two and a half years later, last Sunday and this man who has been a part of my life for the last 21 years passed away. It was dignified.
I can't imagine what it must be like for his daughters, especially my wife. I've almost lost both my parents. One to bowel cancer and the other to breast cancer but both are still with us.
Apart from when we had a major falling out that resulted in me walking out of my home and telling my wife that until he left I wasn't coming home, we've had a very good relationship.
He taught me so much. I learned how to tile a bathroom from him. How to put up fencing. How to lay a garden path. We build the shed that houses our bicycles together.
I learned so much about D.I.Y from him that I even refitted out kitchen myself.
Over the time I knew him I learned so many little things from him.
And then there were our chats. He was well read and it was a joy to chat with him late into the evening when he came to stay with us.
And then there was our shared enjoyment of whisky. I couldn't even begin to count the number of bottles of scotch and malt that we have shared over the years.
I cried after I left the hospital room, darn hormones. The last time I cried like that was when we put down our dog Judy when I was a teenager. I'd not even cried like that when my grandparents passed away.
He's at peace now and in a far better place.
I will miss him.
And after his funeral I will raise a glass of malt to him and his memory.