Sunday, 26 January 2014

Lunchtime drinks

Last Wednesday I was the recipient of a text message, one I wasn't expecting, but a pleasant one all the same.
My oldest and best friend sent me a message to say that he was in town working for two days. It was the perfect opportunity to catch up with each other.
The last time I saw him was sometime early last year when I popped in to see him at his business while on my way home from Malvern.
Meeting on Wednesday was out of the question as he had one of his staff with him and so couldn't pop in on his way home, Thursday was a different matter and so we arranged to meet up at the pub next to where I work.
Thursday morning I was up early because I wanted to make an extra special effort to look my best. I wore a black and white, sleeveless dress and a long black cardigan with a pair of black heels.
Work went by slowly but eventually it was lunchtime and time to walk over to the pub. As I was making my way across the office car park I saw a car turn off the main road and head towards the entrance to the pub. I recognised the driver and waved.
Crossing the car park as quickly as I could we said hello and then strolled into the pub and ordered drinks at the bar, a coffee for my friend and a dry white wine for me.
Finding a table we perched ourselves on the stools and chatted for the next hour.
It really was great catching up but I found one thing really interesting about how the conversation.
In the past when we've chatted our conversations have been pretty equal. On Thursday my friend did most of the talking. My contributions were mostly questions that allowed him to keep talking. It was surprising and not something that I was expecting. We did talk about my job, family and transition but it was more in passing than anything.
I know that men and women communicate differently depending on whether they are in mixed groups of men and women or just groups of men or women. It was fascinating to see that demonstrated, especially as it means that he's made the mental shift to seeing me as a woman.

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