I'd been so focused on things on achieving goals and completing races that I'd forgotten one of the most basic reasons that I run, swim or even cycle (although I'm still working on that one). Yes I do them to keep fit but I also do them because I enjoy them and want to have fun.
The last 6 months I've been beating myself up because I should have been training 6 days a week and although throughout December I managed that in January the weather made getting out and cycling more difficult and I missed some sessions.
In February when I started working at our Malvern office I wasn't able to do the training I needed because of not realising how near the swimming pool was to the hotel and not taking my bike with me (although cycling the roads around Malvern in the dark wasn't something I would have contemplated at the time anyway) left me with just running as an option. With 3 days left when I was back home in Yeovil there was a lot of pressure on me to get complete training sessions.
The closer I've got to the race the more stressed out about it I've become. I know that my fitness levels are at the point where I can complete a race up to half Ironman distance , which I'll be doing next weekend. However, between knowing that I've only done a fraction of the training I needed, breaking my toe and still not being confident enough in my cycling ability, my motivation has taken an enormous dive.
Its not just the race though. There are other things that I've not been doing recently, I've not been going to church on Sunday evenings, partly because my son has stopped going to his group but also because the service that I was going to is one that although I enjoy it, is too formal for me.
Burlesque has also taken a bit of a backseat. I have several routines I want to develop and I just don't have the time to do that either.
All in all although life is OK, transition is going fine, work is not overly taxing at the moment but I'm enjoying being back at our Yeovil office, there is something that I'm missing and that's having fun. I want to have fun back in my life.
So after next week I'm going to put my sporting ambitions on hold. If I want to swim, run or cycle (which I still plan on doing a couple of times a week) then I'll go out on the spur of the moment with no set plan for what I'm going to do. If I'm awake at 5 in the morning and the sun is shining then I'll get my bike out and go for a ride. I'm going to work on developing that balloon strip routine to the Beep Beep song by the Playmates and the Diamond Heist routine to Stand and Deliver and I'm going to start going to the Sunday morning church service once more.
Having fun and getting back in touch with the reason I do things is the priority right now, something that I'd lost sight of.
So here's The Playmates with Beep Beep.
And Adam Ant with Stand and Deliver