Cyprus 2019 - day 4

9^th March 2019

Arrived in Paphos. Long day.

Got up at 6am, didn’t feel like eating so just had a coffee and sat watching an episode of Star Trek: Voyager for an hour before getting ready to leave.

Felt a bit disappointed when I did set off as Tracey had come down to see me off but by the time, I’d reversed the car and was driving up the street she’d gone back to the house. When we’ve had other visitors, we’ll wave them off and wait until they’ve driven out of sight before going back to the house. I, at least, expected her to do the same for me.

The trip to Bristol airport was uneventful and I got there with plenty of time, which was good, because after checking in and weighing my bags I was honest enough with the airline staff about the CO2 cartridges I had in my hand luggage. For the next 20 to 30 minutes they tried to figure out how many I could take in my hand luggage and in the end it came down to how many security would allow through, which turned out to be 2.

The fast track security took a bit longer than when I’ve been through normal security as they went through my bag, unpacked it, rescanned it and the contents and even did swabs on it. I even had to go through a scanner myself and be checked, because of the finger armour I was wearing, I think. Thank goodness I wasn’t pre-surgery or that could have been interesting.

The flight was delayed taking off by about an hour and apart from some turbulence was uneventful. Looking out the window at various times I could see snow capped mountains through the clouds at times as we flew across Europe. At one point, jet travelling in the other direction, rocketed across the sky in the distance.

As the sun began to set, I noticed that some of the clouds took on a red glow, not the normal sunset glow because the colour seemed to be isolated to spots.

One thing I learned travelling was that when I go to Finland it should be a lot easier because I’ll only need the minimum amount of sports kit, pretty much just race kit, and not the amount I’m brought with me this time. That should make life a bit easier.

Check-in at the Aliathon was nice and easy. I’ve not got an apartment like last year with a separate bedroom., This time it’s more of a studio apartment with the bed in the living area. It’s perfectly fine for my needs.

We went out for a meal at a fish restaurant and I got to meet Julian and the others. Rob and Fiona are here so I’ve got some people I know already. I’ve also got to meet two of the others. I’m getting the feeling that I’m going to be the least experienced triathlete of the group again this year but that’s fine. I’m not here to compete against anyone, I’m here to get some intensive training in and then take part in next weekend’s race and get an idea of where I am with regards to my training and racing.

Yesterday was a tough day in some respects. When I got up, I found myself regretting my decision to come.  I felt slightly sick, so I didn’t want anything to eat. If I could have justified pulling out of the week, I probably would have done but I couldn’t.

Even travelling to the airport, I found myself thinking about pulling out, but I’d spent to much, I’d told too many people what I was doing, it would have been too hard to pull out and have to explain to people.

I think part of the reason I felt that way is because I mentally and emotionally I’m still recovering from losing Rhys and I feel more comfortable in an environment I know. Coming to the training camp last year was exciting but was also part of the plan to achieve what I’d set out to do. This year more of a precursor to racing next weekend, but I’m more aware of what I’m doing and being more sensible about it, so I didn’t need to do the week. I didn’t need to race at Ayia Napa next weekend. I could have carried on training at home and gone to work this week.

But I need the downtime. I need the break. I need the chance to build up my strength before things get a little bit hectic again and I’m juggling work commitments and triathlon training.

On the way out I was reading Brene Brown’s book Braving the Wilderness. In it she describes how she uses post-it notes to write down things she’s giving herself permission to do. I don’t have any post-it notes so I’ve started a Word document that I can write down the things I give myself permission to do.

My first entry is:

I give myself permission to have fun in Cyprus for the next week and a half. Chilling, training and racing.

And that’s what I’m going to try and do.

March 10^th 2019

Day 2 in Paphos, Cyprus. Last day before the training camp starts.

Most of this morning was spent putting my bike back together. Although it wasn’t too difficult a job, there were a few hiccups.

First, I couldn’t find the screw that holds the handlebars to the stem. I knew I’d put it in the bike box but it had been loose so I wasn’t sure if it had fallen out at home or if it might have fallen out because someone had opened my bike box in transit. In the end it was neither, it had fallen out when I opened the box in my room. Phew!

Putting the bike back together was simple enough but then I hit the second issue, snapping the tire valve when pumping up the rear tyre. Grr! With only two spare inner tubes with my I had to use one of them up. Hopefully I won’t need to use up my other spare, although the support vehicle has plenty so if I do run into any problems, I can use one of those.

This afternoon I wandered into Paphos. Like last year I took my camera and took lots of photographs. Not as many as last year, but I was more focussed on what I was looking for this time. Cats and things like cans and plastic bottles. I got plenty of both and think I have enough photos of beer cans and other items that I can complete my still life exercise.

Walking back to the hotel I stopped off at the church I visited last year. After praying briefly, I lit a candle for Rhys. This is beginning to be an annual event, although I’m not sure I’ll be lighting one every year in Paphos.

The last part of the afternoon was spent taking the bike out for a ride to make sure that it was OK. It was, although I think I stopped the bike computer half way through the ride by mistake.

The rest of the evening was spent in the pub watching the Ireland v France rugby match and then meeting up with everyone for a meal.

Tomorrow training starts in earnest. It should be an interesting week.

March 11^th 2019

Cycling, cycling and more cycling.

Today started off with bike time trial session. Up and down the dual carriageway. I remember it from last year. However, Perry remembered me and offered me the chance to do a harder session involving intervals of easy and mad cycling. Of course, I had to accept the challenge. I want to try and push myself this week and see how much I’ve improved. 19 miles later and I had my answer. I’m a lot stronger on the bike than I was last year.

The rest of the morning passed restfully. Breakfast then back to the room to chill and relax lying on the bed.

This afternoon was another bike ride, we hadn’t been able to do a pool session because it’s a bank holiday and the pool wasn’t available.

Our route took us out to Aphrodite’s Rock, a place we cycled out to last year. Although I eventually found myself dropping away from the rest of the group, I was only a couple of minutes after them arriving. I’m sure that was a lot better than last year.

On our return I allowed everyone to get a head start on the downhill section and then made my own way back, at my own pace. Quite a lot quicker than last year too I’m sure. My cycling has come along a long way in 12 months.

In the end the second bike session saw me covering just over 30 miles. In total 50 miles of cycling in a day, 6 miles short of what I’ll be doing at Ayia Napa next weekend.

Today has been a really tiring one. Tomorrow may be an easier one, I certainly won’t be covering as much distance. Swim first thing, followed by a session at the athletic track, and maybe something else later in the day.

Whatever happens with training this week and the race on Sunday I’m going to be going back home with ideas for things I need to work on.

12^th March 2019

Today started off with a swim session. Water was a bit cold when you first go in but you very quickly didn’t notice it, unless of course you hit a particularly warm or cold section.

The pool is 50 metres long, double the length of my local pool so it was a bit more of a challenge to swim each length. Like last year we were doing easy and mad, swimming with a pull buoy for the entire session.

My swimming has improved but it could better, so I’m going to have to start trying to get in additional sessions when I get back home, maybe even do the Saturday morning swim at Oxley as well as the Tuesday night swim, and then fit in an extra two sessions. Whatever it takes so that I can get my swim time down and give me a bit more of a chance with the bike and run legs.

Getting back to the hotel it was breakfast time. Although the selection available wasn’t as good as it would have been at the start of the day there was enough for me after I’d had fruit, bacon, eggs, beans, some mushrooms sausages.

Certainly enough to fuel the second session of the day.

I remember the track session from last year and I’m sure that it wasn’t as hard as it was this time. Non-stop running, even for the easy parts. Bends and straights, easy on the bends, flat out on the straights. Four laps like that, then two easy laps. Do that twice and then four easy laps to finish.

I managed the warm up and both sets of bends and straights but when it came to the last four laps I was out of time and everybody was finishing the session. If I’d not stopped so long to get a drink after the main part of the session, I’d have got a couple of extra laps in.

The last session of the day was a recovery run. I decided I’d go and run on my own so I could set my own pace. My route was the same as our first early run at the camp last year and took me to the harbour at Paphos. Stopping at a point that I would be able to remember if I come out for training camps in the future, I took a short breather before heading back.

Dinner was vegetarian sushi, eaten with chopsticks and very filling. I even found myself trying a few other things, calamari heads as well as a few other things I wasn’t sure of. It’s funny but it’s really easy to eat things when you don’t know what they are.

It was a hard day and the first since I’ve been here where I didn’t have more than one Keo, instead returning to the apartment and getting an early night.

Bristol Half Marathon - Update

The last few weeks have been a bit rough on the training front.
The weather that we've had hasn't helped.
The car breaking down in style has meant that I've not been able to get out to Ham Hill where I'd planned on doing a lot of my track repeats work. Its also meant that I've been having to walk to and from work which eats into my day and the time available to train.
Work has also been a bit hectic so I've not been able to get out for early morning training sessions or evening sessions as I've needed to get work completed.

Last weekend, however, I managed to start to turn that around and went out for a 6 mile training run on the Sunday morning, following that up with a bike ride to the gym with the rest of the family in the afternoon (a bout one and half miles), 50 minutes in the gym and then a 45 minute, very gentle three and a half mile ride back home.

The impressive thing about the afternoon was that my son managed to do all of that, something that at one point he would never have been able to do. Cycling to the gym would have been a real struggle at one point. In fact walking more than a couple of hundred yards would have been impossible. Several years ago we went to London to see a show and he spent the entire time we were wandering around London sitting in a wheelchair being pushed. Considering he had a bone marrow transplant in 2008 he's doing really well to  be able to do that much exercise.

Last weekend I realised that I wouldn't be able to play catch up with the training and so was going to have to rewind my training to a point consistent with a 6 mile long run. With 12 weeks to go I should be able to reach a level that would allow me to put in a good performance on race day.

One week later and work has again got in the way and as I write this I'm sitting on the bed having spent the day at home with a sore throat, on the verge of a runny nose, feeling hot and tired and achy. Its the first time that I've been ill this year, the first time since I started to transition. It was bound to happen but its frustrating that just as I was getting motivated to run again this happens. Well next week is another week.

For those interested this is what my training to date looks like, green is a session that I completed on the day, amber/yellow is a session that was completed but on a different day, red are missed sessions. As you can see things are not going brilliantly.

On a plus note I've made some progress towards taking part in the Outlaw long distance triathlon next year. I've got myself a mentor to provide me with training tips and help with my motivation. Its someone from a running forum that I use, who I met briefly when I took part in the Bala Middle distance triathlon a few years ago and who has completed Ironman triathlons and so know what they are talking about. We've talked on the phone and she's made some suggestions already. I look forward to working with her to crossing that finishing line in 12 months time.

Several years ago while training for the London Marathon I was listening to my MP3 player and this track came on. I was having an almost perfect run and this just seemed the perfect track.

 

Queen - We are the Champions

Running Update

As promised last week here is how this week's training for the Bristol Half Marathon went.

Last week's schedule was:
Monday: Rest Day
The easiest day of the week and I happily stuck with the schedule for the day.

Tuesday: Swim
I managed to get to the swimming pool just before 6:30am when it opened. I wasn't the first person there and I certainly wasn't the first one through the doors. As this was the first time I had been swimming in well over 6 months, I think the last time I was in a pool was at Langport triathlon last autumn. I was a bit nervous as to how I'd do. I needn't have worried as 30 minutes later I climbed back out of the pool having completed 1000 metres, 40 lengths in old money, with just over half of that being front crawl and the rest a more relaxing breaststroke.

Wednesday: 2 miles easy, 3 miles (at short tempo pace), 1 mile easy
The weather has been reasonably hot where I live in South West England and today it still hadn't started to cool. The first two miles were pretty good. I went at a slower rate than I normally would have when going out for a run. I wasn't exactly sure what route I was going to take, in the end I headed off out along country lanes to get away from town for a bit.
The three miles at tempo pace were a lot harder than I expected. The first mile went well, I was about 20 seconds slower than I needed to be. Where I live has lots of hills and where there aren't hills the ground is fairly undulating. 20 seconds slower than I wanted wasn't too bad for the route that I had taken.
The second mile things started to get worse, the route continued to be fairly undulating with some reasonable hills to contend with. By the time I was ready to start mile three my pace was almost one and half minutes slower. Mile 3 was the worst as it was pretty much all up hill. Halfway through that mile I slowed to a walk to get up a short incline before beginning to run again. I did pass one guy who was out jogging who slowed to let me pass with the comment that I was probably quicker that he was. In total I think I must have passed about a dozen people running and half a dozen cyclists. By the time I'd completed the last of the tempo miles my pace was 2 minutes slower than it should have been.
The last mile I covered by running and then slowing to a walk before starting running again.

Although I was a bit disappointed with my performance I am keeping in mind that I've done very little running since January and that this training schedule was always going to be challenging. Its 18 weeks until Bristol and even if I don't hit the targets that the schedule calls for I will at least complete the sessions that I need to and I know that I will see an improvement in my running over the weeks. This weeks runs will be a baseline for me to look back to in order to see how I'm doing.

Thursday: Swim
I had to wing it for this session as I'd not worked out any specific drills. I went through various drills including catch-ups, fist, side, some with fins and some with a float. Next time I really have to have a plan for what drills I'm going to do and will also have to take my pull buoy. On the plus side I'm managing to get in the half hour swim, put mousse in my hair before I come back from the pool, have some breakfast, get dressed and put on my make-up and still get into work for 9am.

Friday: 10 – 20 minutes warmup, 12 * 400 metres (with a 90 seconds rest interval between each), 10 minute cool down


I managed to download the Garmin Training Centre software and use that to create workouts for the first 3 track repeat sessions. I even managed to upload them to my Garmin. Its much easier to do that than to try and set up the workouts on the Garmin itself.
I wasn't quite sure where to go to do the track repeats. Running around the streets wasn't going to be very interesting. In the end I looked at Ham Hill Country Park near where I live using Google Maps. There is a big open area that people use to walk their dogs. Its about 500 metres across the entire area and ideal for going round and round and round and, well you get the idea.
It was reasonably quiet on Ham Hill, parked the car and jogged for about 10 minutes to the point where I started the track repeats.
My pace for each of the 400 metre repeats varied depending on whether it was a straight run, whether I had to slow as I went passed dogs or whether I hit the points where there were gates to go through.
Each of the rest intervals I slowed to a walk in order to recover.
All in all I was quite pleased with the session and averaged a pace of 2 minutes 13 seconds. I'm looking forward to doing the next session next week.

Saturday: Bike ride
I managed to get out and do a 12 mile ride in just under an hour, which is about where I was with my cycling last year. It was my second, outdoor, bike ride of the year with the last one being back in January. I wasn't sure about doing it as my body is feeling all of this exercise at the moment. Roll on Monday when I have a rest day.

I've felt like skipping training sessions quite a few times this week. Fortunately I've stuck with it, even if it has meant going out for a run in the evening. If I'm going to really keep the training going though I'm going to have to get used to forcing myself out the door in the mornings.

Sadly my laptop has decided once again to break, the casing around the screen has broke when I was closing it earlier today and so it goes back to PC World to get repaired. I keep hoping that they will reach the point where they decide that it simply isn't economical to keep repairing it and will instead replace it. I doubt its going to happen anytime soon. In the meantime I'm going to be offline for a few days. I'll update on how my training has gone when I get back online, hopefully that wont be too long.


In the meantime next week's schedule is:
Monday: Rest Day
Tuesday: Swim
Wednesday: Tempo Run
Thursday: Swim
Friday: Track Repeats
Saturday: Bike Ride
Sunday: Long Run

Quick update on how things have progressed when I'm back on line.

Bristol Half Marathon

The other week I signed up to do the Bristol Half Marathon at the end of September. I've done quite a few half marathons over the years but this will be my first one since transition and so should be interesting. Technically no matter how well I do on the day it will be a personal best.

A little while ago I read on Kasmira's blog about her use of the Run Less Run Faster programme in her training so I bought a cope from Amazon and having worked through the book will be using that as the basis of my training.

The schedule calls for 3 runs a week which are all very specific in what they aim to achieve. It also requires two other non-running workouts a week as cross-training.

My plan is to run on a Wednesday, Friday and Sunday, swim on a Tuesday and Thursday and cycle on a Saturday.

Running and going to the gym have been a bit hit and miss for me since January. I've not been to the gym as regularly as paying for membership would require, which does make it a very expensive membership. In fact when I went today it had been the first time in a month that I'd been to the gym. Far too expensive a membership to not use!

So. In order to make sure that I stick to the training schedule I'm going to post start posting weekly what my training for the week is and then at the end of the week review how I did and post the following weeks schedule. That way I'll have the extra incentive to stick with my training and not let it slide.

This week the schedule is:
Monday: Rest Day
Tuesday: Swim
Wednesday: 2 miles easy, 3 miles (at short tempo pace), 1 mile easy
Thursday: Swim
Friday: 10 – 20 minutes warmup, 12 * 400 metres (with a 90 seconds rest interval between each), 10 minute cool down
Saturday: Bike ride
Sunday:  8 miles (at half marathon pace plus 20 seconds / mile)

Sunday is a long run so resting on a Monday allows me to recover which is an important part of the programme.

The Tuesday swim is where I'm going to work on endurance and simply put in the laps. Thursday will be where I work on technique. I've chosen these days as they are the mornings that the local swim club don't use the pool so there are a couple of extra lanes available for swimming, including a training lane.

I'm aiming to complete Bristol in under 2 hours and so all of the paces that I'll be training at are based on that time. Short tempo pace is 8 minute 36 seconds / mile. Pace for the Friday runs will vary depending on how far each of the repeats is, for 400 metres its 1 minute 55 seconds.

Where I live is fairly hilly so it is going to be interesting trying to complete achieve some of these paces. I might have to try and find some nice flat areas in one of the local parks or out at the local country park.

Well that's this weeks plan, with a bit more information than I'll probably use in future updates.

See you all next week when I review how I've done.

I haven't posted anything for a little while because I've been busy at work. I've been doing work for one of the other teams on the project that I work on this year, as well as doing some work for my own team plus helping some of the coders, I develop computer software for a living, who have been having to learn to use all of our test tools. The last couple of weeks have been particularly hectic for me which has resulted in me missing out on 10 days striaight of running and also doing nearly 2 extra days work over the course of 5.

I know that there are people that work those kind of hours on a regular basis and also do far more demanding jobs but its been a long and hectic couple of weeks.

On top of which I had to do appraisals on three of my colleagues. Two were ok, neither argued with what they got. The third was really difficult as he wasn't expecting the result he got and it actually hurt me to have to go through that.

Anyway, been busy but managed to sit down today to post something.

This morning I went for a run, I had planned to do an hours run but cut it short a couple of miles from the end.

From about 20 minutes into the run my concentration was gone. All I could think about was my transitioning.

Round and round my head went the fact that my next appointment with Doctor Brooks is coming up in March. I want to ask her for a referral to the Gender Identity Clinic when I see her. I know that I'm going to end up having a long conversation explaining things to her.

Before I have my appointment though I need to talk things through with T, I'm actually going to start my wife by her first initial, and tell her that I can't wait as long as she wanted me to. Things are getting harder. Despite the fact that we agreed, when we talked last summer,  to see what could be done to let me get out more she's never raised it since.

In that time I've carried on getting my body waxed, growing my hair out and having it highlighted blonde, even the dance lessons she's aware of now. I went to Portsmouth in December and had planned an evening away the night before I was due to see Jo at Sugar and Spiced.

With all of this the only comments I've had were about my lengthening hair in front of family and friends, another comments about its colour and being asked why I was having dance lesson. She doesn't want to discuss it, as far as she's concerned everything is fine, nothing is happening for ages and so lets not deal with it.

I suppose it doesn't help that I'm not raising the issue with her, it also probably doesn't help that I put on a happy face for everyone all the time. I keep my feelings hidden and don't let people see how confused and hurt and desperate I am.

Last summer I got to such a low point before talking to T that I almost took and overdose. The other week I got pretty low again and found myself thinking of suicide. I know that if something doesn't change then I'm not going to make it four years, let alone 6. If I don't do something now and have to carry on putting on a happy face then I doubt that i'll be able to make it to the end of the year.

For that reason I'm going to tell T that we need to talk about this before my next appointment because its destroying me and I'm not going to be able to cope for much longer.

In addition to that as half term is coming up soon and the family are away at T's sisters I'm going to take drastic measures, since T wont, and contact her mum and arrange to meet up with her on the Monday when I drop everyone off at T's sisters.

My mother-in-law is almost like a second mum to me, she was also told about me when T and I first got together. She told T to do what makes her happy. Of course that's what T did but couldn't really cope with things and didn't tell me any of this until a while after we were married. If she'd told me before we were married then I wouldn't have put either of us through any of this.

Anyway, I'm going to take things out of T's hands and explain what is going on to her mum. I want to do it face to face and not over the phone because I might as well take the full force of whatever her reaction is.

T will probably go ballistic when she finds out what I've done but since she seems to be hiding her head in the sand then one of us has to do something. Besides the fact that she tried to get her brother-in-law to ask her sister about me before Christmas does lead me to think that she really wants to discuss it but wants someone else to start the conversation off.

It does look like this month is going to be an extremely interesting one.

Going the distance

Stace over at  Musings of an (I)Tgirl wrote an interesting post about her experience of running with a colleague. I was going to comment but being a bit wordy at times, ok most of the time, I thought I'd do a post instead. :-)

I have a male colleague that's fairly new to running. Last year he decided that he wanted to get fitter and that running was going to be how he did it. He set himself a challenge of running a half marathon.

He put a notice on our internal company website to see if anyone would partner him while he was training. At the same time knowing that I run he came to have a chat with me. Eventually I agreed with him that from the start of this year I would join him on weekday lunchtimes to go for a run.

All started well with just the two of us running the first day. Then one of our female colleagues decided that she would join in. At the same time I got told about a local half marathon that is going to take place for the first time this March. Both of us signed up immediately.

We talked about it on our runs but our female colleague wasn't interested as there was another half marathon closer to where she lives that she wants to do.

Last week we decided to go for a run and suddenly we were joined by a chap who is just getting back into running and so wanted to come and join us. Another chap has since shown an interest in joining in. The numbers keep growing, as do the numbers that are now signed up to do the half marathon. We now have four of us that I know of for definite.

My male colleague that I'm helping to train for this race has been working hard. Last weekend he decided to go for a run, a couple of laps around the village where he lives, should have been about 6 miles. It ended up being 12 miles in total as he decided he felt ok and so carried on.

On Monday he decided that he was going to join me for a lunchtime run. I tried to pursuade him not too, honestly I did, but he wouldn't have it. He felt fine he told me.

A mile into the run and it started to hurt, he was struggling to run but kept going for another half mile or so. Eventually I took pity on him when he said that I should carry on while he stopped and walked. We both slowed to a fast walk and kept going. A bit more running and walking and we reached a point where we could head back. I told him to head back and that I'd see him back at work after I'd gotten another couple of miles under my belt. I'm taking part in a competition at the moment between a group of runners from the USA and Canada and another group of runners from Europe, Australia and various other countries this side of the Atlantic. My mileage this month might not be brilliant but it all helps.

Today my colleague went out for another run, after two days of rest, on his return we were chatting and I was saying that I might just stick with our female colleagues as I find the pace she runs at quite comfortable and she's trying to finish the race in under two hours. I fancy having aiming for that time so we can pace each other and egg each other on to the finish.

My colleage said he might stick with us, at least at the start. Now if I was mischievous I could have encouraged him to do that. Unfortuanately, although my halo has slipped and as a friend and I have agreed I sometimes, like her, wear it on my ankle, I decided that I should try and pursuade him of the folly of trying that on his first half. He seems to have taken the idea on board. At least I hope he has. If he hasn't, well I'm sure that I can spin my halo around my ankle while dragging him at a fast pace for a couple of miles around the course.

One of these days I might just get my halo back where its supposed to be!

:-)