Yesterday I attended an Out At Work event run by a LGBT society from a local university. It was really interesting and the first time I've ever talked to a group of people about my experience transitioning in work. I'm not including friends, colleagues or you dear readers.
I'd originally prepared a list of points for what I was going to say as the talk needed to be about 10 minutes long. Strangely trying to fit my experience into 10 minutes was really difficult and no matter how I tried to get everything into the time while practicing I knew I'd overrun. While I was driving from home to the venue I realised that talking about the mechanics of transitioning at work wasn't going to be what they wanted to hear. They were going to want to hear about things that had happened to me and how both I and others had dealt with it. In the end I simply threw away my prepared notes, other than the first part which was the introduction and spoke as my heart and mind took me.
I managed to raise a few laughs with some of my anecdotes which I was glad of.
The last time I had to speak to a large group of people was at my wedding and I had spent a lot of time preparing that speech. Other than that the only other times have been while running team meetings. This was a real achievement for me.
My talk went down well as did those of the other people that were talking. The question and answer session was thought provoking. Being among LGB folk was interesting for me as although I'm married I know that my sexuality is not heterosexual as it once was in the man/woman sense of my marriage or even lesbian which is quite possibly how some people would see my partner and I if they didn't know our situation. I'm more aware of my sexuality now than I ever was and I know that it leans in the bisexual direction.
I hope that what I had to say helped everyone that was there. I know that being there and listening to everyone certainly helped me. Who knows one of these days I may just end up coming out at work again. Not about my gender this time but about my sexuality. I doubt that it will top coming out as transsexual though if I do.
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
Tuesday, 7 May 2013
Zombie Apocalypse
I'm a very fair skinned person which means that sadly I burn easily in the sun. I don't tan easily instead I end up looking like a cooked lobster which eventually fades to something that looks like I've not washed for a week.
In fact my normal colour is not quite undead pale but not far off. In fact if there was a zombie apocalypse then with the addition of some fake bruises and blood then I could probably pass quite happily amongst the legions of the Undead.
Over the years I've learned painfully that I really, really, really must wear suntan lotion when out in the sun. Now that I'm having laser and electrolysis to remove hair I've finally learned that lesson and I don't go out without suncream on my face, underneath my make-up at the very least. Yesterday was no exception as it was probably the hottest and sunniest day that we've had in the UK this year.
As we'd been at my parents all weekend and were traveling back home via my other half's Aunt and Uncle's place and I was going to be dropping them off there and going off to do my own thing for an hour or two I dressed for the weather. A pair of jeans, as I don't have any shorts yet and I'm still working up to wearing them as I've always hidden my legs away due to my dysphoria and them being too hairy before I started having them waxed, shaved or epilated.
On top I wore a camisole top and a see-through, long-sleeved blouse. Big mistake I learned.
It normally takes about 2 hours to drive between my parents and home. Yesterday was no exception but of course I added an hour of sitting in a park near to my other half's family's house. It was lovely enjoying the sunshine.
We got home at a reasonable time and as the house was warm, we'd left our central heating system on and all the windows were shut so between the heating system and the weather it was quite warm. Even with the windows open it was still warm so my jeans were exchanged for a skirt and off came the blouse.
At that point I discovered the drawback to see-through blouses. It would seem that if you allow the sun to beat down on you for almost 3 hours straight and you've not applied suntan lotion then you still burn. Only on one side though because of where the sun ends up being when you drive a car in the UK heading in a southerly direction. Yup, my right arm has a lovely red patch all the way down the outside of it from where it was in the full glare of the sun. The rest of me is fine.
At least that's one new thing I've learned about being a woman this weekend.
Oh and in case there is a zombie apocalypse here's some advice from Team Unicorn on handling it.
In fact my normal colour is not quite undead pale but not far off. In fact if there was a zombie apocalypse then with the addition of some fake bruises and blood then I could probably pass quite happily amongst the legions of the Undead.
Over the years I've learned painfully that I really, really, really must wear suntan lotion when out in the sun. Now that I'm having laser and electrolysis to remove hair I've finally learned that lesson and I don't go out without suncream on my face, underneath my make-up at the very least. Yesterday was no exception as it was probably the hottest and sunniest day that we've had in the UK this year.
As we'd been at my parents all weekend and were traveling back home via my other half's Aunt and Uncle's place and I was going to be dropping them off there and going off to do my own thing for an hour or two I dressed for the weather. A pair of jeans, as I don't have any shorts yet and I'm still working up to wearing them as I've always hidden my legs away due to my dysphoria and them being too hairy before I started having them waxed, shaved or epilated.
On top I wore a camisole top and a see-through, long-sleeved blouse. Big mistake I learned.
It normally takes about 2 hours to drive between my parents and home. Yesterday was no exception but of course I added an hour of sitting in a park near to my other half's family's house. It was lovely enjoying the sunshine.
We got home at a reasonable time and as the house was warm, we'd left our central heating system on and all the windows were shut so between the heating system and the weather it was quite warm. Even with the windows open it was still warm so my jeans were exchanged for a skirt and off came the blouse.
At that point I discovered the drawback to see-through blouses. It would seem that if you allow the sun to beat down on you for almost 3 hours straight and you've not applied suntan lotion then you still burn. Only on one side though because of where the sun ends up being when you drive a car in the UK heading in a southerly direction. Yup, my right arm has a lovely red patch all the way down the outside of it from where it was in the full glare of the sun. The rest of me is fine.
At least that's one new thing I've learned about being a woman this weekend.
Oh and in case there is a zombie apocalypse here's some advice from Team Unicorn on handling it.
Friday, 3 May 2013
Busy busy busy
Thursday was one busy day.
For the last couple of weeks I've been trying to get to the point where I can do an Olympic distance triathlon. That's a 1500 metre swim, 40 kilometre bike ride and a 10 kilometre run. Thursday morning I managed to drag myself out of bed and down to the local pool to do the swim by 7am and to start what turned out to be 5 hours of exercise, with the odd short break in between.
Tiring but glad that I managed to complete it. Especially as I managed to drop the transformer style plug from my make-up mirror from the top of my wardrobe all of 5 feet straight onto the little toe of my left foot. When I finally got home from my run it was to find that my little toe was now sporting a superb bruise.
The afternoon started off being fairly easy but didn't last as I found myself having to write up what I was going to stay in a talk that I'm giving next week. Its only 10 minutes but I had to get it down on paper because it might reflect on the company I work for and a few people needed to see it beforehand.
The rest of the afternoon went quite pleasantly before I had to leave the house and make my way to a salon where I was going to undergo electrolysis on my chest.
Now I've been told about electrolysis and that it can be very painful so I took some painkillers beforehand. In the end I don't think that I really needed the painkillers as apart from a very mild bit of pain from the zap of the needle, far milder than the sting from the laser zaps, and the tug when pulling the hair out, it didn't really hurt that much.
I have another appointment in a little while which will hopefully cover the area that has been missed.
Returning home I had enough time to sort myself out and then head to my son's school to catch the last couple of meetings with some of his teachers and the parent/teacher evening.
After cooking dinner and managing to get most of the way through it the phone rung and I spent the next 50 minutes chatting with someone. Fortunately I wasn't too hungry and I'd had ample dinner.
The weekend should be a lot quieter, next week will once again be busy as I have triathlon training planned for the mornings and repainting the kitchen planned for the evenings.
For the last couple of weeks I've been trying to get to the point where I can do an Olympic distance triathlon. That's a 1500 metre swim, 40 kilometre bike ride and a 10 kilometre run. Thursday morning I managed to drag myself out of bed and down to the local pool to do the swim by 7am and to start what turned out to be 5 hours of exercise, with the odd short break in between.
Tiring but glad that I managed to complete it. Especially as I managed to drop the transformer style plug from my make-up mirror from the top of my wardrobe all of 5 feet straight onto the little toe of my left foot. When I finally got home from my run it was to find that my little toe was now sporting a superb bruise.
The afternoon started off being fairly easy but didn't last as I found myself having to write up what I was going to stay in a talk that I'm giving next week. Its only 10 minutes but I had to get it down on paper because it might reflect on the company I work for and a few people needed to see it beforehand.
The rest of the afternoon went quite pleasantly before I had to leave the house and make my way to a salon where I was going to undergo electrolysis on my chest.
Now I've been told about electrolysis and that it can be very painful so I took some painkillers beforehand. In the end I don't think that I really needed the painkillers as apart from a very mild bit of pain from the zap of the needle, far milder than the sting from the laser zaps, and the tug when pulling the hair out, it didn't really hurt that much.
I have another appointment in a little while which will hopefully cover the area that has been missed.
Returning home I had enough time to sort myself out and then head to my son's school to catch the last couple of meetings with some of his teachers and the parent/teacher evening.
After cooking dinner and managing to get most of the way through it the phone rung and I spent the next 50 minutes chatting with someone. Fortunately I wasn't too hungry and I'd had ample dinner.
The weekend should be a lot quieter, next week will once again be busy as I have triathlon training planned for the mornings and repainting the kitchen planned for the evenings.
Wednesday, 1 May 2013
30 Days of Trans - Last day
Day 30 - Write a haiku about being
trans
Wednesday
1st
May
Day follows
night
Twenty four
seven
A woman now
Normal blogging service will resume as of tomorrow :-)
Tuesday, 30 April 2013
30 Days of Trans - Day 29
Day 29 - Write out something
positive about yourself using the letters of your name. Ex. Your name
is Bob so B-Beautiful O-Outstanding B-Boy
Tuesday 30th April
I started doing this basing it on my
old name and as I got to the end of it realised that it didn't say
that it had to be that so now I've done it for both old and new.
Depending on which variation of my old
name, or even which of my two old names that I used then there are
longer or shorter things that I could come up with. So I've decided
to use both variations of my one name and my middle name and do the
lot. For those that like puzzles I've put the letters in alphabetical
order rather than spell out my old name.
A – Athletic
B - Brave
H - Happy
I - Intelligent
I - Incredible
I - Incredible
J - Joyful
L - Loving
L -Lady-like
L - Loyal
L – Level-headed
M – Maternal
N - Nice
O - Outstanding
W - Woman
Doing the same for my name now I came
up with.
J - Joyful
E - Easygoing
N – Natural
N - Nurturing
A – Accommodating
Lots of positiveness there.
Monday, 29 April 2013
30 Days of Trans - Day 28
Day 28 - What is something you have
to do everyday or else you feel like your whole day is off if you
don't do it
Monday 29th April
I'm not sure that I have anything that
I have to do everyday or my day is off. There is one thing that I
like to do, I don't have to do it but I usually manage it and that is
to get up before everybody else, usually a good hour before them so
that I can have a coffee, check my emails and browse the web, watch a
bit of television if there's anything on that interests me and simply
ease myself into the day.
Ever since I graduated and started work
I've been getting up at about 6am. My Dad used to do the same when he
was working, in fact both Dad and Mum are still up between 6 and 7 in
the morning and they have been retired for years now.
When my son was born he used to wake up
for a feed at about 7am. I used to get up at 6, have that first
coffee, sort myself out and then get ready for when he woke up so
that I could give him his feed.
Sometimes I find it frustrating when I
get up and someone else then gets up during that first hour,
especially if they start talking to me and want to have a
conversation. That can get my day off to a bad start but generally it
doesn't.
Still its nice to have an hour to
yourself at the start of the day before everyone and everything
demands your attention.
Sunday, 28 April 2013
Not changed as much as I thought
Ok, this is me after I'd been out getting some bits and pieces from one of our local DIY stores. I'm posting it just so you can see how I was dressed and looked.
As we reached the checkouts I noticed a guy going through in the other queue and realised it was the ex-husband of someone my wife used to work with. I pointed him out to her as he'd not noticed either of us.
We finished paying at the same time and as he was passing us she called out to him. He turned and recognised her. The two of them started chatting as I stood there wondering if he'd recognise me. The last time we'd bumped into someone we knew that wouldn't have known about what was going on with me he'd thought I was my sister and not me, so I wondered if the guy yesterday would realise.
Well he did. In fact he turned to me and said "How are you B***?" using my old male name. "You've grown you hair and look a bit different". Different!!!!! I look like I do in the photo!!!
I guess this guy is certainly no Sherlock Holmes. I'm wearing my breastforms and have on full make-up. Doh!
As we walked towards the exit I turned to him and said "Oh, by the way, its Jenna now". His startled reaction was great to see.
After we'd left him and were walking towards our car my wife and I couldn't help but giggle at his reaction but it did leave me wondering just how much I had changed and just how much people still see the old me when they look at me.
As we reached the checkouts I noticed a guy going through in the other queue and realised it was the ex-husband of someone my wife used to work with. I pointed him out to her as he'd not noticed either of us.
We finished paying at the same time and as he was passing us she called out to him. He turned and recognised her. The two of them started chatting as I stood there wondering if he'd recognise me. The last time we'd bumped into someone we knew that wouldn't have known about what was going on with me he'd thought I was my sister and not me, so I wondered if the guy yesterday would realise.
Well he did. In fact he turned to me and said "How are you B***?" using my old male name. "You've grown you hair and look a bit different". Different!!!!! I look like I do in the photo!!!
I guess this guy is certainly no Sherlock Holmes. I'm wearing my breastforms and have on full make-up. Doh!
As we walked towards the exit I turned to him and said "Oh, by the way, its Jenna now". His startled reaction was great to see.
After we'd left him and were walking towards our car my wife and I couldn't help but giggle at his reaction but it did leave me wondering just how much I had changed and just how much people still see the old me when they look at me.
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