Earlier this week someone we knew about 3 years ago and fell out with came back into our lives.
V became friends with my other half when they were working at one of the local schools together. Her son was a couple of years younger than my son and her husband worked for one of the biggest companies in the area.
We got one pretty well together, until one of our friends got taken seriously ill and V started getting very friendly with her with the result that my other half and our friend fell out. Fortunately they made up before she passed away.
V then had problems with her marriage and after splitting from her husband moved in with a new partner.
For the last 3 years we've not seen or heard from her. Then she shows up on our doorstep while I was at work.
V knows about me as she saw me one lunchtime towards the end of last year in the town centre. It was after I'd been growing my hair out for a while. When she then bumped into another of hour friends she asked about me and was told.
This week she turns up at our place because she was in the area and had some time to spare. My other half and her had a cup of tea and a chat. During the chat V turned around and suggested to my other half that when she was ready to find herself a guy that V knew of someone. She apparently even showed a picture of the guy in question. My other half sent V a text the following day to say she wasn't interested and that we were planning on staying together.
When I was told I immediately wondered why she was sticking her nose into our business and making assumptions about our relationship.
Now I know what V is like and to be honest doing something like this is what I would expect from her but it is overstepping the mark somewhat.
I mentioned what had happened to some friends in work and the best reaction I had was from one of the guys who said to me that perhaps I should ask V to introduce me to her friend. Hmm, nope, if I want a man or even a woman I'll find my own thank you very much. Not that I have any need to do that as I have someone special in my life already.
Saturday, 15 December 2012
Thursday, 13 December 2012
A Year in Provence - part 2
The end of my week in Southampton went pretty well.
I learned a lot during the course, some of which I'll be able to use now that I'm back in work.
The examination is booked for the 1st February and so I'll have to go up to London for that. It will give me the chance to catch up with someone I know that has moved up there.
The hotel I stayed at was great and I had no problems there.
The journey home from Southampton took a couple of hours and took me down through the New Forest via Dorchester.
The weather wasn't very nice with rain pretty much all the way home. At one point I was stuck in a traffic jam due to 5 cars going into the back of each other in the outside lane.
Arriving home, the family had gone to my in-laws in the Cotswolds as it was mother-in-laws birthday. She'd come down to stay overnight and had then taken them back up which left me with our car.
Saturday was a sort of chilled day. I was going out for a drink in the evening and had decided that I was going to wear a dress to the pub. working my way through my wardrobe I realised that I actually didn't have anything that was suitable to wear. Everything was either too dressy for the pub or something I would either wear leggings, trousers or thick tights with. So after conferring with a friend I headed into town and to the local Laura Ashley shop.
Now Laura Ashley has always struck me as being a bit on the floral side of fashion. I know that isn't the case in reality but still, I wasn't sure that I'd find anything that would be me. Still they had a sale on so it was worth a look.
Into the shop I went and over to wear some of the sale stock was, particularly the dresses. A bit of a rummage and I had found 3 possibilities. I sent a text to my friend and described them. She came back with two that she liked. I still wasn't convinced.
Just then one of the women that used to work in our personnel department walked past with who must have been her daughter and granddaughter. I was tempted to say hello and then ask her advice but couldn't bring myself to do so.
Still trying to make a decision I was surprised when one of our personnel managers also appeared. Now I get on with H so I said hello and roped her into helping me decided. We narrowed my choices down to two before she wandered off. I still wasn't convinced at this point, one of the dresses was definitely a yes, the other I wasn't so sure about as it had a pleated skirt and I wanted the dress to be able to wear it both when I went somewhere but also to work. In the end I put the dress with the pleated skirt back and went for the black dress with a pink floral pattern. Just as I was heading towards the changing rooms I noticed another rack with some dresses and tops on it. A quick rummage and I found a grey tunic top that I could wear to work, providing I got some camisoles to wear underneath it as it is a bit low cut.
Before I went to the changing rooms I had a quick look to see if I could find a black cardigan or something similar to wear with the dress. I found just the thing in a long sleeved cardigan/jacket.
Well everything fitted and I was soon heading back home with my purchases.
The afternoon was spent enjoying a nice soak in the bath while reading a book and then getting ready to go out.
Just as I was about to put my make-up on I got a call from my son asking me how to sort out a problem with his gran's computer. Fifteen minutes of trying to work out what to do over the phone, another 5 minutes of chatting to my family and I was free to finish my make-up.
The pub was really nice. It wasn't a local one as it was in a nearby town. When I got there the first pub was a chain pub that caters to families and was really busy. Not the place I wanted to go to on a Saturday night. The second pub we went to was more back street and although it was quieter I decided I might stand out and didn't want to risk any problems. The final pub was again a family pub but this time there was somewhere to sit for a quiet drink.
The evening was quite pleasant, I noticed a couple of women looking in my direction as they made their way to and from the toilets.
At one point I was a bit shocked to see some people that we know from Yeovil. The husband is a builder and has done some work at our home, one of the daughters is at school with my son. They didn't see me and I didn't go to say hello as it would have been awkward.
Sunday was a relaxed start to the day and then it was off to collect my family at our usual handover point halfway between our home and my in-laws place. We had a bite to eat and then returned home.
It was a busy week but nice.
It also showed that either I'm passing well enough or that people really aren't worried.
Roll on 2013 and whatever that will bring.
I learned a lot during the course, some of which I'll be able to use now that I'm back in work.
The examination is booked for the 1st February and so I'll have to go up to London for that. It will give me the chance to catch up with someone I know that has moved up there.
The hotel I stayed at was great and I had no problems there.
The journey home from Southampton took a couple of hours and took me down through the New Forest via Dorchester.
The weather wasn't very nice with rain pretty much all the way home. At one point I was stuck in a traffic jam due to 5 cars going into the back of each other in the outside lane.
Arriving home, the family had gone to my in-laws in the Cotswolds as it was mother-in-laws birthday. She'd come down to stay overnight and had then taken them back up which left me with our car.
Saturday was a sort of chilled day. I was going out for a drink in the evening and had decided that I was going to wear a dress to the pub. working my way through my wardrobe I realised that I actually didn't have anything that was suitable to wear. Everything was either too dressy for the pub or something I would either wear leggings, trousers or thick tights with. So after conferring with a friend I headed into town and to the local Laura Ashley shop.
Now Laura Ashley has always struck me as being a bit on the floral side of fashion. I know that isn't the case in reality but still, I wasn't sure that I'd find anything that would be me. Still they had a sale on so it was worth a look.
Into the shop I went and over to wear some of the sale stock was, particularly the dresses. A bit of a rummage and I had found 3 possibilities. I sent a text to my friend and described them. She came back with two that she liked. I still wasn't convinced.
Just then one of the women that used to work in our personnel department walked past with who must have been her daughter and granddaughter. I was tempted to say hello and then ask her advice but couldn't bring myself to do so.
Still trying to make a decision I was surprised when one of our personnel managers also appeared. Now I get on with H so I said hello and roped her into helping me decided. We narrowed my choices down to two before she wandered off. I still wasn't convinced at this point, one of the dresses was definitely a yes, the other I wasn't so sure about as it had a pleated skirt and I wanted the dress to be able to wear it both when I went somewhere but also to work. In the end I put the dress with the pleated skirt back and went for the black dress with a pink floral pattern. Just as I was heading towards the changing rooms I noticed another rack with some dresses and tops on it. A quick rummage and I found a grey tunic top that I could wear to work, providing I got some camisoles to wear underneath it as it is a bit low cut.
Before I went to the changing rooms I had a quick look to see if I could find a black cardigan or something similar to wear with the dress. I found just the thing in a long sleeved cardigan/jacket.
Well everything fitted and I was soon heading back home with my purchases.
The afternoon was spent enjoying a nice soak in the bath while reading a book and then getting ready to go out.
Just as I was about to put my make-up on I got a call from my son asking me how to sort out a problem with his gran's computer. Fifteen minutes of trying to work out what to do over the phone, another 5 minutes of chatting to my family and I was free to finish my make-up.
The pub was really nice. It wasn't a local one as it was in a nearby town. When I got there the first pub was a chain pub that caters to families and was really busy. Not the place I wanted to go to on a Saturday night. The second pub we went to was more back street and although it was quieter I decided I might stand out and didn't want to risk any problems. The final pub was again a family pub but this time there was somewhere to sit for a quiet drink.
The evening was quite pleasant, I noticed a couple of women looking in my direction as they made their way to and from the toilets.
At one point I was a bit shocked to see some people that we know from Yeovil. The husband is a builder and has done some work at our home, one of the daughters is at school with my son. They didn't see me and I didn't go to say hello as it would have been awkward.
Sunday was a relaxed start to the day and then it was off to collect my family at our usual handover point halfway between our home and my in-laws place. We had a bite to eat and then returned home.
It was a busy week but nice.
It also showed that either I'm passing well enough or that people really aren't worried.
Roll on 2013 and whatever that will bring.
Wednesday, 5 December 2012
A Year In Provence
Or more accurately a week in Southampton.
I'm spending the week on a training course in Southampton. Its the first time I've spent this amount of time away from home since I transitioned. Its also the first opportunity I've had to be myself where people don't know me as anyone but Jenna and to see how they react.
I've got limited Internet access so I'm going to post as I can. This is part 1.
I'm spending the week on a training course in Southampton. Its the first time I've spent this amount of time away from home since I transitioned. Its also the first opportunity I've had to be myself where people don't know me as anyone but Jenna and to see how they react.
I've got limited Internet access so I'm going to post as I can. This is part 1.
Southampton 2nd to 7th December 2012
Sunday
What a journey it was to get down here.
To start with the hire car is one of those that has a key that you
put into a slot on the dashboard. Once its inserted then you can
press down on the clutch while pushing the key right into the slot in
order to start the engine. The car doesn't have a traditional
handbrake, instead you press down on the brake while pushing a switch
on the console near the gear-stick. Its not too bad once you get the
hang of it, and aren't panicking because the car has stalled or
something like that.
The actual journey was OK until I
reached Southampton. At that point things started to go adrift
because the satnav told me that I'd arrived at my destination while I
was still on the M27. Exiting the motorway at the next exit and
heading into Southampton before stopping to reset the satnav so it
would find the hotel was called for which even then lead to a
roundabout trip as I managed to miss the exit on a roundabout and
found myself back on the motorway.
The hotel is some distance from the
venue where I'll be doing my ISTQB Advanced Test Analyst course.
Hopefully I'll be able to find the place without too much trouble
tomorrow.
At the moment its just before 10
o'clock, its raining again. I've not been out of my room since I got
here. Tomorrow I'll be eating in the restuarant so I'll probably have
a couple of drink in the bar as well.
I've got quite a bit of reading to
catch up this week, in addition to any homework we get from the
course. Reading wont be the only thing that I do though as I've
brought a couple of my fans with me. I've already spent aa bit of
time this evening working out the timings for my True Love routine
and have gone through that a couple of times. Its not a complicated
routine, neither is it very long (about 3 minutes 15 seconds in fact)
so by the end of the week I should have it in a state that I can
start jazzing it up and making it more of a performance.
Anyway, its 10 o'clock now and time to
get ready for bed.
Monday
First day of the course done.
Last night I didn't sleep all that
well. I usually don't when I'm staying in a hotel, the bed usually
takes a few days to get used to as well as all the different noises.
I was eventually awake by about 5:30 this morning but sat in bed
reading my bible, something I haven't done for a while.
Just after 6 I started getting myself
ready for the day, by just after 7 I was ready to face the outside
world and heading for breakfast. I kept things simple this morning
and didn't eat a lot, come cereal and a small fried breakfast.
Just after 8 I set off for the course
venue in Ocean Village. It took me a while as the traffic was quite
hectic initially but thinned out as I got closer to my destination.
On arrival I was a bit worried as I didn't have much change for car
parking and all of the car parks in the area were pay and display. I
parked the hire car in the nearest car park and popped into the
reception of the Innovation Centre to see if they could tell me the
best place to park. Fortunately they have their own parking spaces to
the rear of the building so I was able to leave the car there.
The course was interesting, there are
only four of us plus the course tutor. He looked familiar and it
wasn't until I got back to the hotel and checked the notes for
another course that I did a while back that I realised that he was
the one who had done that course.
The one thing that I'm definitely going
to remember the course for is hazelnut coffee. The drinks machine
uses pouches containing the drink that you want, there is a few
things to choose from but I've settled on the hazelnut coffee option.
I've drunk so much of it that I can still taste it even after a
couple of glasses of wine. I think I might be getting addicted to it.
The trip back to the hotel was equally
hectic but I didn manage to get into the hotel without having to do a
roundabout journey this time.
A bit of revision and the obligatory
phone call to the family and it was time for dinner.
The restaurant was heaving, I had to
wait about 15 minutes before I got a table even though I had booked.
The waiter that seated me was really nice and kept updating me on
what was going on and checked to see if I'd ordered my meal and how
long it would be.
I'd chosen to have duck breast with
potato Anna. The duck tasted lovely, there could have been a bit more
food though. Next time I'll know to order a side dish!
Some people do like to complain and the
chap that was seated before me, after he had been served his meal and
had pointed out to the waiter that there was some mushrooms missing,
said "this place is like Fawlty Towers." It wasn't that
bad!
Today has been a good day. I've not had
any issues with people. The staff are well trained, I had a smile
from one of the waitresses in response to a smile I gave her. My
waiter addressed me as Ms. On the way to dinner I rode up in the lift
with an older gentleman who stepped aside to allow me into the lift
and then when he got out in front of me apologised saying that he
should have let me out first.
I'd say that today was a passing day.
Tuesday
Second day of the course. The restaurant was a bit busier yesterday morning. Had some fruit to
start but it felt very unladylike trying to cut through chunks of
pineapple, apple and melon with a spoon with people around. Don't
think I'll go for that option again. Will probably go back to cereal
or skip that and have a couple of pastries after my full English.
Missed my favourite of button mushrooms though as they didn't have
any out when I went to get mine.
Drive to Ocean Village was as busy as
on Monday but I did arrive early, in fact I was first to arrive, the
other girl on the course was second.
The receptionist greeted me when I
arrived. She's very friendly and very smartly dressed. I like her.
The course went well as we got through
all of the material easily which allowed us to get back to our hotels
to do some revision on our own. I worked through some examples and
then left it at that as I wanted to have an early dinner so I could
have a bath and watch some television.
On the way back to the hotel I popped
into the Asda Hypermarket at Eastleigh. I'd forgotten just how big
they could be. I wandered around as quickly as I could picking up a
notepad, some Pringles, chocolate digestives, a bottle of Pinot
Grigio (hotel drinks are extortionate, over 6 pounds for a small
glass of wine, 9 pounds for a larger one, the bottle from Asda was
only 5 pounds) and a bottle of what I thought was Jim Beam bourbon
which turned out to be a black cherry bourbon drink. Very nice, very
drinkable and after one very large glass will be going in my case to
take home.
I noticed last night that I've been
forgetting to slap on my hormone gels. So made doubly sure that I'd
remember to do it before I went to bed and when I got up in the
morning.
Dinner was a lot quieter than Monday
evening. The restaurant wasn't as busy at 7 when I went down. Service
was great. Food was even better. I went for belly of pork with black
pudding and potatoes followed up by vanilla and strawberry crème
brulee with a shortbread biscuit and Chantilly cream.
While I'd been eating a nice looking
American had been sat at the table next to me. As I was eating my
dessert he asked if it was good, to which I put my hand on my tummy
and replied yes. His dinner arrived at that point and as I'd finished
mine I left him to it and we didn't chat any more. If I was more
confident with my voice and appearance it would have been nice to
chat some more.
I am meeting lots of different people,
not just staff here but also other guests and I'm not getting any
negative reactions so I'm happy.
After dinner I enjoyed a relaxing bath,
finished my Jim Beam and had a couple of small glasses of wine in my
room while reading my books, Coming Up Next by one of my favourite
television presenters Penny Smith. I've had the book for a while and
haven't got round to reading it. Now that I've started I can't put it
down and will have finished it before too long. Oh well, will have to
get her next book.
Wednesday
Finally finished my book this morning.
Nothing to read now.
I've missed a couple of the programmes
that we normally watch this week. Although I've got a TV in my room
the things that I'd usually watch with the rest of the family like
Grimm and Elementary are on satellite channels and not Freeview.
The course went well today. It was
about a couple of testing techniques and once you understood what was
involved they weren't too bad.
I chatted to the receptionist at the
innovation centre when I got there this morning. Both of us have
daughters. Her oldest is between Rhys' age how old Kayleigh would
have been this year. It was a nice chat as both being parents we had
things in common.
Weather today has been chilly, not as
cold as yesterday when the car was iced over, so glad that I brought
de-icer with me.
Two more days to go before the course
is over and I head back home. Will be nice to have all the things
that I take for granted when at home available to me. Even if is my
last weekend before I have to start training for the Outlaw next
year!
Spoke with the family using Skype earlier. So much easier than simply using the phone and better than Windows Live Messenger. Everyone was OK.
More to come at the end of the week, or tomorrow if I manage to write up a post before I lose my Internet access.
Sunday, 25 November 2012
Life Circle 2012: Where am I at?
As the year is
drawing to a close, and its wet, windy and horrible outside I thought
that I'd have a look back at some of the things that I'd planned as
part of the Life Circle and see where I've got with my goals.
6 months
Its nearly 11 months since I began my
RLE. As far as my 6 month goals were concerned I haven't performed in
any burlesque shows. I did help out at a theatre show by being a
hostess pre-show. It was fun but I'd have enjoyed it more if at least
one of the other Pink Kitten girls had been there with me.
The Valentine's show didn't happen as
far as I was concerned due to car problems. I couldn't make the
Easter or Halloween shows due to being away and not having a car.
I'll not be making the Christmas show either as I don't have a
routine ready to perform.
Mags moved to London earlier this year
and I've not been in touch with her for a while, I need to sort out
getting the corset for my costume and eventually sort out the skirt
for it. I'd like to get that for when I get around to performing my
Messin' with Fire routine after I've developed it.
I've not sorted out the training to
allow me to teach Burlesque yet, it seems that other things get in
the way of that. It will happen though when I get the money together
and have the time to go through the training. I'll try and sort it
out next year at some point as I'm sure that there are several people
that I would be interested in it.
As far as work is concerned I
eventually wore a skirt and have done so on a number of occasions
since. I tend to wear trousers more now that the weather has turned
somewhat.
1 year
I've entered the
Outlaw triathlon for next year. Training starts on December 10th.
My training is mapped out all the way through to next July.
Going to the gym
has continued to be a bit hit and miss but I'm hoping that I can
rectify that because my son has membership at the leisure centre
which covers his life saving lessons but also gym sessions. At the
moment unless I take him he wont get there.
I managed to get
back into running because I trained and completed the Bristol Half
Marathon. Even though the training didn't get off to a good start it
settled down enough that I finished in a personal best time.
I've not
performed at any burlesque shows this year but I'm planning to remedy
that in 2013 by performing a silk fan routine to Moon River at the
Valentine's show. With luck I'll perform the other routines I plan on
working on at the other shows throughout the year.
The hormones are
working nicely. Emotionally I'm a lot more stabled that I was at the
beginning of the year. I'm also experiencing noticeable results in
the breast growth department. In fact my mum commented the other day
when I was at my parent's, and not wearing breast forms and bra but a
figure hugging roll-neck top, that I would need breast reconstruction
when she saw how my right breast had developed in comparison to the
left one which is the one I had removed to deal with the
gynaecomastia I suffered from when I was a teenager.
2 years
On track to achieve my goal of having
completed the Outlaw Triathlon. Will also be aiming to have completed
a couple of aquathlons, a DIY olympic distance triathlon and the
Outlaw Half triathlon by summer 2013.
5 years
As far as being post-op is concerned
I'll be looking to have had my surgery by the end of 2014. It should
be possible for me to be referred for a second opinion at the end of
2013. If that went as it should then in theory I could be having
surgery 6 months later, smack bang in the middle of my son's GCSEs.
That would be too much pressure to put on him and so I'll be looking
to delay things just enough to see to it that surgery happens after
he's completed his exams.
By the time I've finished working on
the ideas I have for burlesque routines I'll have 5 routines that I
can perform and if I stretch out debuting them then I'll have at
least another 4 shows to perform in ahead of me. Hopefully it wont be
one show a year.
Fitness will still be important as I'm
planning to do a number of endurance events in the next 5 years. The
Outlaw triathlon is the first. After that I plan on doing a long
distance cycle ride, the Dart 10K swim and if everything goes to plan
the Marathon Des Sables when I hit my 50th birthday.
For some of the more specific goals
that I set myself.
Developing C# Programming ability
I've not done anything with this for
most of this year. I've simply not had the time.
On the job front things have settled
down. The redundancy process was completed and although I pulled out
after submitting my voluntary redundancy application initially, when
the VR window was reopened I applied again, unfortunately on that
occasion I was turned down.
I did, however, have two job
interviews. The first I got turned down due to not showing that I had
the aptitude for a test managerial role, which was something I wasn't
expecting to be interviewed for.
The second interview went a lot better
with the company turning me down but stating that I knew my stuff and
that if a suitable job came up then they would be in touch to ask me
to attend an interview. That did actually happen but it was after I'd
been turned down for VR and it simply wasn't financially viable to
take another job.
Developing my C# skills is still
something that I need to do.
Get fit
Definitely keeping my fitness levels
up. I achieved my aims with the Bristol Half Marathon and have
noticed an improvement in my swimming with my 400m time dropping by
half a minute on one occasion.
Decorate small bedroom
The small bedroom
has had the wall paper stripped, the built in cupboard has been
removed and the wall filled with copious amounts of polyfilla. All
that needs to be done to it now is to sand down the woodwork and
polyfilla to give a smooth wall and ceiling, paint the ceiling, door
and woodwork, and wallpaper.
At the moment
though the room is full of boxes with bits and pieces that came out
of some units that we got rid of in our living room. Its also got one
of my road bikes attached to a turbo trainer that I intend to use
over the winter when the weather is to bad to get out and cycle.
Looks like
decorating the bedroom will take some time yet to complete.
Tidy garage and garden
Having sorted out the garden the
weather has been such recently that we've let it go. The grass needs
cutting and a lot of stuff that came out of the garage when we handed
the keys back to the local council after we got rid of our old car
needs to be taken to the dump. As soon as I've got enough time to
load up the car and take it to the dump then I'll be getting rid of
it. Not sure when that will be but it will definitely be before the
end of the year.
Lots of progress in some areas, mainly
the ones that I have control over and really want to work on. Not so
much progress in the areas that I don't want to work on or where I've
not had any control over the situation.
Even so I'm happy with where I've got
to this year. Next year will be another interesting one with
hopefully as many things, if not more, achieved as this year.
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Right where are we
Its been 10 months since I transitioned and the year has gone better than I could have imagined. I'm more settled into living as a woman now than I was in January. I still have some issues when it comes to my voice but when you have a guy address you as "love" when the alarms go off as you are leaving the local supermarket and he comes over to check your shopping trolley then you know that you've passed muster.
Since we bought our new car I've managed to get to Bristol for a Pink Kitten Advanced Lab session which was great fun. It was so good seeing everyone again.
I've also been to the first of four vintage hair styling classes that Pink Kitten are running. I'm sure that the burns on my thumb and forehead from the very hot curling wand and hair tongs will fade in time. The first class saw us learning to do finger waves. This week is victory rolls and the week after will be a 50s style. Sadly it looks like I'm going to miss the last week which was the 60s and the Beehive.
I've now got four songs that I'm going to be working to put fan dance routines too over the coming months. The songs are Moon River (silk fans), Messin' with Fire (small marabou fans), True Love (large fans) and Knock 1 2 3 (large fans and maybe some other bits to fill out the five minutes of the song). First up will be Moon River in time for Valentine's next year.
I'm still waiting to hear if the funding for my laser hair removal has been approved. I should hear sometime this week I hope.
Today I had my first speech therapy since last February. My new speech therapist is really nice and I spent an hour chatting with her. She suggested that I record myself reading a passage in order to have something to listen to and see how my voice changes as we work on it. She's also suggested I think of a woman who I would like to sound like, presumably so that I have an example to work from. Sounds like a great reason to watch some of my favourite actresses on DVD and television.
My training for the Outlaw triathlon and my first ever Ironman distance event begins shortly. I've been doing bits of training since I completed the Bristol Half Marathon. I've noticed that my swimming has improved hopefully that will continue to happen between now and next July. Just goes to show what a bit of structure to your training can do.
Last month I made it to my first pre-op support group meeting at The Laurels. It was an interesting evening. I'm not sure when I'll go to another one, probably in the New Year now. I'll definitely be going though as I met some really nice people there.
With a bit of luck I'll be in Southampton between the 3rd and 7th December on my first training course as Jenna. It will also be my first time staying at a hotel for a few days. I'm looking forward to it, not just because the course is something I've been trying to do for nearly 2 years but because it will give me a few days to myself so that I can do things that I've not had the chance to do, burlesque practice for one. I'll be travelling to and from Southampton by train because my other half wants the car so that she can go to her Mum's on the 7th because it is her Mum's birthday that week.
Although I've not formally been asked to not go with them, my other half has talked about me not going because my brother-in-law, it seems, doesn't want to see me as Jenna. That's his decision and it means that I will spend the least amount of time I can at his home, when we go there for New Year I'll spend a day or two there before going to my sister's and staying with them for NewYear before coming back home on the 1st January. At least I'll get to see my nieces quite a bit over the festive season.
For the record though as its my mother-in-law's 70th birthday I would have reverted to my old self for the weekend and dressed androgynously, with hair slicked back and no make-up.
I have one more appointment with Sara at The Laurels in December and then one further appointment with her and Dr Dean in the New Year and then I don't need to go back to see them until the end of 2013 when I'll have completed my two years RLE and will be in the position to work towards surgery. I should be able to simply get myself referred back to the clinic at that point and not have to jump through hoops to get there.
All in all, things have been good over the last couple of months and the rest of the year seems to be similar. Roll on 2013 and the completion of my first year of RLE.
Since we bought our new car I've managed to get to Bristol for a Pink Kitten Advanced Lab session which was great fun. It was so good seeing everyone again.
I've also been to the first of four vintage hair styling classes that Pink Kitten are running. I'm sure that the burns on my thumb and forehead from the very hot curling wand and hair tongs will fade in time. The first class saw us learning to do finger waves. This week is victory rolls and the week after will be a 50s style. Sadly it looks like I'm going to miss the last week which was the 60s and the Beehive.
I've now got four songs that I'm going to be working to put fan dance routines too over the coming months. The songs are Moon River (silk fans), Messin' with Fire (small marabou fans), True Love (large fans) and Knock 1 2 3 (large fans and maybe some other bits to fill out the five minutes of the song). First up will be Moon River in time for Valentine's next year.
I'm still waiting to hear if the funding for my laser hair removal has been approved. I should hear sometime this week I hope.
Today I had my first speech therapy since last February. My new speech therapist is really nice and I spent an hour chatting with her. She suggested that I record myself reading a passage in order to have something to listen to and see how my voice changes as we work on it. She's also suggested I think of a woman who I would like to sound like, presumably so that I have an example to work from. Sounds like a great reason to watch some of my favourite actresses on DVD and television.
My training for the Outlaw triathlon and my first ever Ironman distance event begins shortly. I've been doing bits of training since I completed the Bristol Half Marathon. I've noticed that my swimming has improved hopefully that will continue to happen between now and next July. Just goes to show what a bit of structure to your training can do.
Last month I made it to my first pre-op support group meeting at The Laurels. It was an interesting evening. I'm not sure when I'll go to another one, probably in the New Year now. I'll definitely be going though as I met some really nice people there.
With a bit of luck I'll be in Southampton between the 3rd and 7th December on my first training course as Jenna. It will also be my first time staying at a hotel for a few days. I'm looking forward to it, not just because the course is something I've been trying to do for nearly 2 years but because it will give me a few days to myself so that I can do things that I've not had the chance to do, burlesque practice for one. I'll be travelling to and from Southampton by train because my other half wants the car so that she can go to her Mum's on the 7th because it is her Mum's birthday that week.
Although I've not formally been asked to not go with them, my other half has talked about me not going because my brother-in-law, it seems, doesn't want to see me as Jenna. That's his decision and it means that I will spend the least amount of time I can at his home, when we go there for New Year I'll spend a day or two there before going to my sister's and staying with them for NewYear before coming back home on the 1st January. At least I'll get to see my nieces quite a bit over the festive season.
For the record though as its my mother-in-law's 70th birthday I would have reverted to my old self for the weekend and dressed androgynously, with hair slicked back and no make-up.
I have one more appointment with Sara at The Laurels in December and then one further appointment with her and Dr Dean in the New Year and then I don't need to go back to see them until the end of 2013 when I'll have completed my two years RLE and will be in the position to work towards surgery. I should be able to simply get myself referred back to the clinic at that point and not have to jump through hoops to get there.
All in all, things have been good over the last couple of months and the rest of the year seems to be similar. Roll on 2013 and the completion of my first year of RLE.
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
The man in my life
Now that we have a car again going to burlesque classes is once again something that I can do.
Yesterday was the first time in months that I went to the Advanced Lab at Pink Kitten. It was great to catch up with old friends and meet some new people.
However, that was just the end of a great day and a fabulous trip to Bristol.
One of the main reasons that I went to Bristol was to pop into Evans Cycles in Broadmead. They stock Louis Garneau cycling clothing and I'm in the process of ordering a LG monaco, effectively a cycling/triathlon top, to wear when I'm doing triathlons next year. My only problem is that I needed to double check the size before I part with my pennies.
So up to Bristol I went, allowing enough time for me to make my way to Evans Cycles, find one of the tops and try it on as well as possibly some cycling shorts and then head over to Pink Kitten's new studio.
When I eventually found the shop it wasn't very busy but looked like a great place to get bikes and cycling gear. I had a browse around the clothing section before deciding that I wasn't going to find what I wanted on my own and going and finding one of the staff that wasn't dealing with a customer.
I explained what I was looking for and he took me over to where I'd already been looking. As I tried to explain what I was looking for he showed me to the LG tops and pointed out the cycling jerseys. As we chatted he asked me what exactly it was that he was looking for. I realised that he thought that I was buying the top for a boyfriend, partner or husband.
Well what could I do, I had to go along with it and said he was doing triathlons next year and wanted some tops and shorts that were suitable for long distances. The chap showed me where I could find everything that was suitable and then left me to browse.
After that conversation there was no way that I could ask if I could try on a top to get an idea of fit and so I picked a cycling jersey in the size I was planning on getting and also a pair of cycling shorts (they had a sale on because they are swapping over to winter gear) and took those to the till to pay. The same chap served me and was friendly and efficient.
Now either he was being extremely respectful, they've had transgendered individuals go in before or he really didn't realise that I was transgendered and thought I was female. I'm not under any illusions but whatever reason it certainly boosted my self-esteem and left me feeling really happy about my experience and perfectly happy to go there again when I need anything for cycling and I'm in Bristol.
And the top, well the large is a little bit roomy which means I can fit another layer underneath it if I need to when its particularly cold. It also has a bit of room for me to grow into as I develop up top so its something that I'll get plenty of wear out of.
Yesterday was the first time in months that I went to the Advanced Lab at Pink Kitten. It was great to catch up with old friends and meet some new people.
However, that was just the end of a great day and a fabulous trip to Bristol.
One of the main reasons that I went to Bristol was to pop into Evans Cycles in Broadmead. They stock Louis Garneau cycling clothing and I'm in the process of ordering a LG monaco, effectively a cycling/triathlon top, to wear when I'm doing triathlons next year. My only problem is that I needed to double check the size before I part with my pennies.
So up to Bristol I went, allowing enough time for me to make my way to Evans Cycles, find one of the tops and try it on as well as possibly some cycling shorts and then head over to Pink Kitten's new studio.
When I eventually found the shop it wasn't very busy but looked like a great place to get bikes and cycling gear. I had a browse around the clothing section before deciding that I wasn't going to find what I wanted on my own and going and finding one of the staff that wasn't dealing with a customer.
I explained what I was looking for and he took me over to where I'd already been looking. As I tried to explain what I was looking for he showed me to the LG tops and pointed out the cycling jerseys. As we chatted he asked me what exactly it was that he was looking for. I realised that he thought that I was buying the top for a boyfriend, partner or husband.
Well what could I do, I had to go along with it and said he was doing triathlons next year and wanted some tops and shorts that were suitable for long distances. The chap showed me where I could find everything that was suitable and then left me to browse.
After that conversation there was no way that I could ask if I could try on a top to get an idea of fit and so I picked a cycling jersey in the size I was planning on getting and also a pair of cycling shorts (they had a sale on because they are swapping over to winter gear) and took those to the till to pay. The same chap served me and was friendly and efficient.
Now either he was being extremely respectful, they've had transgendered individuals go in before or he really didn't realise that I was transgendered and thought I was female. I'm not under any illusions but whatever reason it certainly boosted my self-esteem and left me feeling really happy about my experience and perfectly happy to go there again when I need anything for cycling and I'm in Bristol.
And the top, well the large is a little bit roomy which means I can fit another layer underneath it if I need to when its particularly cold. It also has a bit of room for me to grow into as I develop up top so its something that I'll get plenty of wear out of.
Saturday, 13 October 2012
Take no prisoners
All my life I've been very wary of confrontation. I don't like it and try to avoid it whenever I can.
In part its because I've always been a bit shy. I find social events difficult, especially if there are people around that I don't know.
Over the years I've gotten better with things because I've needed to for work. Even so I tend to contribute to things only when I have to but when I do it tends to be thought out and worthwhile.
All of this means that I tend to be quite passive when it comes to a lot of situations and will take the path that leads to me having an easy life.
I've also got a little bit of a temper that I do my utmost to keep under control and not show. When I was a teenager my Dad was winding me up on one occasion at home and I snapped, picked up a chair and was about to hitting him with it. The only thing that stopped me was my Mum shouting at me to put it down. My Mum can be scary when she wants and it got through to me. Strangely that was the last time I recall my Dad winding me up so much.
This week though saw what is a big change in attitude for me. I've noticed it happening recently but it came home to me fully on Friday.
Two weeks ago we bought a new cooker. We'd opted for a dual fuel type. Gas hob, electric cooker. We'd run through a set of questions in the shop related to where we were going to have the cooker installed and had answered them to the best of our knowledge. When the cooker arrived the fitters refused to install it until we'd had some electrical work done.
We got an electrician in, he did what we asked and I rang up to arrange for the fitters to return.
Last Wednesday they arrived.
The electrical work hadn't been done as they needed it so they again refused to fit the cooker. By now I was no happy so we went back to the store we'd bought the cooker from. The manager told us that the fact that we didn't have a suitable electrical supply for to fit the cooker he couldn't refund our money but was willing to refund it onto one of the store's gift cards. I thought this pointless and we discussed exchanging the dual fuel cooker for a gas only one. We have a gas cooker already so it should be a simple job to take out the old one and install the new one.
On Friday the fitters turned up with the new cooker, took one look at where it was to go and refused to fit it. Apparently we have some electrical sockets that are positioned in such a way that due to building regulations, particularly electrical ones, mean that the cooker couldn't be installed.
When my other half rang me to tell me this I was livid, it was all I could do to keep my temper. When the phone was handed to one of the fitters to explain the problem I simply told him to take the cooker that had been left on the last visit, which they were to collect, and the new one they were supposed to fit as we no longer wanted them and I'd be going to the store to get my money back.
At lunchtime I went back to the store and confronted the manager. I think that he must have realised that I was angry because after we'd discussed the reasons why the fitters had not installed the cooker, and this time I'd put the blame back on the previous fitters for not telling us that the electrical sockets were in the wrong place the twice they'd been, he didn't insist on refunded my money on a gift card but refunded the money straight back to my bank account.
It might have helped that I'd contacted the citizen's advice bureau and gas safety register to check my rights but it couldn't have hurt that I was there on my own and was displaying an obvious don't mess with me attitude.
There might have also been a bit of a "I really don't want this person to create a scene" attitude on his part.
I know that my confidence has been growing for a while. Perhaps this week is the culmination of that process.
As a friend said about me a while back. I'm strong and sassy and I'm definitely here to stay so watch out world.
In part its because I've always been a bit shy. I find social events difficult, especially if there are people around that I don't know.
Over the years I've gotten better with things because I've needed to for work. Even so I tend to contribute to things only when I have to but when I do it tends to be thought out and worthwhile.
All of this means that I tend to be quite passive when it comes to a lot of situations and will take the path that leads to me having an easy life.
I've also got a little bit of a temper that I do my utmost to keep under control and not show. When I was a teenager my Dad was winding me up on one occasion at home and I snapped, picked up a chair and was about to hitting him with it. The only thing that stopped me was my Mum shouting at me to put it down. My Mum can be scary when she wants and it got through to me. Strangely that was the last time I recall my Dad winding me up so much.
This week though saw what is a big change in attitude for me. I've noticed it happening recently but it came home to me fully on Friday.
Two weeks ago we bought a new cooker. We'd opted for a dual fuel type. Gas hob, electric cooker. We'd run through a set of questions in the shop related to where we were going to have the cooker installed and had answered them to the best of our knowledge. When the cooker arrived the fitters refused to install it until we'd had some electrical work done.
We got an electrician in, he did what we asked and I rang up to arrange for the fitters to return.
Last Wednesday they arrived.
The electrical work hadn't been done as they needed it so they again refused to fit the cooker. By now I was no happy so we went back to the store we'd bought the cooker from. The manager told us that the fact that we didn't have a suitable electrical supply for to fit the cooker he couldn't refund our money but was willing to refund it onto one of the store's gift cards. I thought this pointless and we discussed exchanging the dual fuel cooker for a gas only one. We have a gas cooker already so it should be a simple job to take out the old one and install the new one.
On Friday the fitters turned up with the new cooker, took one look at where it was to go and refused to fit it. Apparently we have some electrical sockets that are positioned in such a way that due to building regulations, particularly electrical ones, mean that the cooker couldn't be installed.
When my other half rang me to tell me this I was livid, it was all I could do to keep my temper. When the phone was handed to one of the fitters to explain the problem I simply told him to take the cooker that had been left on the last visit, which they were to collect, and the new one they were supposed to fit as we no longer wanted them and I'd be going to the store to get my money back.
At lunchtime I went back to the store and confronted the manager. I think that he must have realised that I was angry because after we'd discussed the reasons why the fitters had not installed the cooker, and this time I'd put the blame back on the previous fitters for not telling us that the electrical sockets were in the wrong place the twice they'd been, he didn't insist on refunded my money on a gift card but refunded the money straight back to my bank account.
It might have helped that I'd contacted the citizen's advice bureau and gas safety register to check my rights but it couldn't have hurt that I was there on my own and was displaying an obvious don't mess with me attitude.
There might have also been a bit of a "I really don't want this person to create a scene" attitude on his part.
I know that my confidence has been growing for a while. Perhaps this week is the culmination of that process.
As a friend said about me a while back. I'm strong and sassy and I'm definitely here to stay so watch out world.
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